April 2006 Archives

"Everything is changing. Jenny's getting married... they're remodeling the Starbucks!"
-Nadia

Today I went to go see:

The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee! It was totally funny. I really wish I could remember some of the word/definitions/sentences they gave these "kids." It's basically a musical of a spelling bee. They had some people from the audience come up to play characters and gave them words like "Mexicans" (...as she was walking down the street she noticed how many damn Mexicans there were), and "cow" (What's the definition?/It is a cow./Can you use it in a sentence?/Spell the word cow./C-O-W) at first then harder ones later to get them the hell off the stage. At one point I got this:

When one of the ousted contestants went around throwing the the candy he was supposed to be selling while singing about the erection he had that caused him to fuck up his words. hehe.

SPOILER ALERT IN CASE ANYONE ACTUALLY EVER WANTS TO SEE THIS

I was rooting for the cute (I can say he was cute even though the character was 13 or something because it was played by a grownup) hippy guy who made his own clothes to win, but alas the guy with the magic foot that spelled for him won, despite the fact that his foot was taken out of commission when another kids gay father poured soda on the stage).

END SPOILER

Oh, and at one point Jesus came out with a big glowing heart on his chest. It was quite the funny show.

Yesterday I did do more of that fun thing I said I was going to do more of but can't tell you because I can't let a certain someone find out. hehe.

Dad: Your hair is going to fall out.
Me: Eh, I'll buy a wig.

So...yeah...time to introduce haircolor #6 for the year: blonde! (kind of) I didn't try to attempt anything too light, seeing as how just 2 months ago my hair was black. Just trying to wean myself into something lighter and more natural. The box said "dark beige blonde," this looks more...I have no idea...right now, but it will probably fade lighter in a week or two... we'll see. What most people don't know (hehe) is that I am naturally blonde, so I'm just trying to get back to my roots (ok, bad pun)...even though I am quite sure it will be back to dark browns, and reds and such later. Maybe pink. hehe. So, ladies and gents, here is my new (kinda)blonde coiffure:

Only 5 more weeks of work!

Umm, anything else? Went to coffee with Brandana and MattyK earlier this week. And last night I...hmm...can't tell you what I did last night just in case...you never know who is reading...but it was tons of fun! hehe. And I will definitely be doing more of it later today too. ;-)

Mat hasn't talked to me since December, when he dropped me off at LAX and said goodbye. I've called. I've emailed. I've heard nothing back. At first it really made me angry, upset. And then I managed to get myself to a point where I was happier than I'd been in a long, long time and I was going by weeks without even thinking about him. Until, of course, that time ended.

Last year on May 24, which happened to be his birthday, which happened to be the five year anniversary of our breakup, he showed up out of nowhere. At that point he hadn't talked to me in 8 months. And I was angry, upset, but still managed to fall back into whatever it is I fall into. And surprisingly, it was probably one of the best times we've had together in a long, long time. Why? There were no expectations, I think. And maybe because I'd grown a little, I wasn't quite as afraid to tell him what I wanted so I didn't walk away crying.

I called him last night because now I'm back to calling too often, but not for the same reasons as before. I think he picked up. He might have picked up, but I'm not sure. I rarely ever have the phone to my ear when I dial his number. I wasn't even going to let it get to the message this time. Just let it ring long enough to get my name on the missed calls list. I was in the middle of closing it when I heard mumbled noises of a crowd. Maybe he was drunk and didn't know what he was doing. Maybe someone else picked it up for him thinking he wouldn't want to miss a call. Maybe the phone answered itself in his pocket. Maybe I imagined it.

May 24 is coming up again and I keep wondering if maybe he'll show up out of the blue again. And what I'll do. Because I know what he'll do and I don't know if I'm strong enough now to resist. And in my year of seizing opportunities do I seize the opportunity to "have fun" or to regain some dignity and maybe, perhaps, move forward?

And then there was the one who I wanted more than what I wanted from.

And now this.

I was talking to Nad the other day as we were on our way to someplace I wasn't sure I wanted to go. And we decided that I need to go on a diet. A No Matt Diet. For serious, as of now I can no longer date, want to date, think about dating, whatever, any man named Matt. I have only ever dated guys named Matt and they seem to keep creeping into my life. I'm at the point where I either have to get the name tattooed on my ass or walk away, wash my hands of them.

There are plenty of reasons for this diet:

1) It's just plain creepy to have only dated guys with the same first name.

2) It makes it nearly impossible to hold an easy conversation (Well, I really like Matt but I'm afraid that Matt will come back into the picture...) My friends are sick of it.

3) I have been nothing but constantly and consistently hurt. There are things I've never even told anyone else. There are things that I didn't even understand myself until recently.

Now, I'm not saying I can give up any of the Matt's already in my life. I still want to talk to and be friends with #1 (if he ever mysteriously reappears) because he knows things and understands things about me that I don't think anyone else possibly could. And #2 used to be such a good friend and I am truly at a point where I more than happy for where he is. But I can't take it anymore. "God's Gifts" are turning out to be nothing of the sort.

And I think I'm ready to say it. If these guys can't understand what a fucking catch I am, then they deserve to not have me and I don't deserve them. I am a damn amazing person. I'm cute, I'm fun, I cook, I...talk about sex a lot. Any guy would be fucking lucky to call me theirs.

So, from now on, if I meet any guy and he tells me his name is Matt, I will walk away right there and then. I am worth so much more than this shit.

So, after some sleuthing, I found the wanted ad for my job.
Take my Job Please!

Some interesting things to note:

a) They put that you need a graduate degree. Umm, no. I think an associate's degree would be enough, if that.

b) I do make a little more than what they are offering, but not by much.

c) It's a little confusing, but this is actually 2 separate jobs that they are advertising for, I'm not sure that everyone would get that (personally when I see reception work involved, I run!)

d) Microsoft does not capitalize the S. Photoshop is one word.

e) They say training is available. Umm, I think they mean that I will be here for another month to train them. I hope they don't expect me to train in FrontPage, I've never used FrontPage, I use Dreamweaver, but they keep insisting FrontPage is better.

In other news, Chicago has banned foie gras. Because, you know, foie gras is the biggest problem facing Chicago.

McCafferty vs. Viswanathan

So this now sophomore at Harvard recently had a young adult novel published and it's come out that there are many similar paragraphs to Megan McCafferty's Sloppy Firsts. For instance:

McCafferty's book, page 6: "Sabrina was the brainy Angel. Yet another example of how every girl had to be one or the other: Pretty or smart."

Viswanathan's novel, page 39: "Moneypenny was the brainy female character. Yet another example of how every girl had to be one or the other: smart or pretty."

I haven't read either book involved (although Sloppy Firsts has been on my "to be read" list for a while) but from what they're showing, it looks pretty fishy. I could imagine it being a coincidence or unintentional or whatever if there was maybe one similar paragraph, but there seem to be a lot of examples where it is very much the same. It makes me think that she probably only got into Harvard from plagiarizing papers.

It reminds me of the type of papers everyone probably wrote in high school. You'd take paragraphs from books and just change the wording around slightly and think that that was ok and not plagiarism when really it is. That's what this reminds me of.

And anyways, what in the hell is a 17 year old doing with a $500,000 book deal anyways? And where's mine?

Yesterday my mom was in her room listening over and over to the song Celebration (Kool & the Gang). But it wasn't even the real song...it was the Dora the Explorer Version. After 45 minutes of hearing it over and over I finally get up and go see what in the hell she's doing. She is sitting there with a pencil and notebook transcribing the song. And, since she doesn't know how to work the cd player to make it pause or rewind slightly, she keeps having to go back to the beginning. I went to the computer typed the song title into google and came back 2 minutes later with all of the lyrics. She then took the paper down to the computer to type them up.

Happy Birthday Brandana!

(shh, you didn't see me smoking)

Went out to North Beach in Downers to celebrate Brandon's birthday (despite the fact that I guess it's not until next week). Drinks were free for a bit, which rocks.

Brandon decided to do a little strip tease:

His friend Professor Eric (or maybe it's Erik) did the same:

Twas mostly fun times with mostly fun people. Scott predicts that if I drink in Europe that I will end up stripping at least twice. I told him I probably wouldn't need any drinks for that to happen. I danced with Brandon to dancing type music (but none of that icky booty dance stuff). I still promised Brandon that I will sleep with him once he quit smoking for 20 years. He promised me the same thing. ohyeah.

One of the realtors sent me this picture at 11:00 am:

She says she wants a CMA and listing presentation with this picture, but could I please take out the other realtor's sign from the picture. She'll be in at 12:30 to pick it up. First of all, I have about 30 other things to do that came in before her. And second, nobody seems to understand that taking something like that out of a picture is serious work, I don't have a magic wand.

Every week I make lists for myself of a ridiculously insane amount of things I want to get accomplished of which I normally finish about 3 or 4. Last week (I go Thursday to Wednesday with my lists since it coincides with school and I can schedule in homework for the next week that way) I had 25 things on my list and I completed every single one of them. This has never ever happened before. This week, my list has 44 things. Wish me luck! (although if I do manage to finish all 44 things I think this means I officially am back to having no life)

1. I think I might not take summer school. I was going to do it so I could graduate in November, but now it looks like there is only 1 class offered in the fall that I would take so I wouldn't graduate until March anyways. This will free up two nights a week and give a little extra travel/novel writing/wedding planning, and give me $1700 extra.

2. No, I really don't want to hang out with you and the girl you may be dating, especially since you never want to see me any other time anymore and especially since you are now making plans with her before me and have seemed to have replaced me completely and especially when you ask me at the last minute when you know it will take me 45 minutes to get there and therefore know I wouldn't make it. Also please stop pointing out ex girlfriends to me because then all I do is wonder what she has that made you want to date her and not me.

3. I really want to quit my job now. (OK, so I already quit, but I want to stop going now).

4. I've taken to sleeping with my window wide open and my pillow on the window frame and my head kind of hanging outside. This is probably dangerous.

• to learn how to use my camera (i have one of those slrs that has automatic settings, i use the automatic, but not the manual)
  
• to learn how to play my guitar (even though its broken)
  
• to drive to alaska (seems like a road trip worth taking)
  
• to go camping and go to all those big national forests and learn how to fish (where that last one came from, i’ll never know)
  
• a tattoo on the front of my hip bones (but i don’t know of what)
  
• to get my novel published (which means i have to finish it first, and not be so afraid to tell my story)
  
• to fall madly and deeply in love (with someone who loves me back)
  
• to make things beautiful for a living (really i think that’s all i’ve ever wanted to do)
  
• to go to broadway and become a dancer (even though i haven’t done it in years)
  
• to stop looking through my closet for clothes that burned up six years ago (and wishing for my salt shakers and dance and track ribbons)
  
• to learn how to draw and paint (it doesn’t have to be well)
  
• to learn how to snowboard (and not break my legs)
  
• to learn how to cook (really cook)
  
• to learn how to really design websites and layouts (i’m kind of faking it)
  
• to be well-known, but not necessarily recognized (no paparazzi here)
  
• to be considered amazing
  
• to stop thinking that i can’t do any of those things.

Saturday night, having nothing better to do with my time (insert frowny face here), I decided to play Easter Bunny. No, this didn't involve me donning my ears for Hef:

It involved dying up some eggs and making jelly bean filled baskets for my friends. I made little notes that looked like this:

(not signing my real name, of course) and headed out at around 11 at night to drop them off. I got to MattH's house around 11:50 (I started at the furthest and worked my way back). When I got out of my car I saw someone walking to a car in his driveway, so I turned around and ducked my head down (real suave). Once whoever it was took off I ran like a mad woman to his door, left the basket then ran like a madwoman to get back. Then it took me a couple minutes of fumbling maneuvers to get around in his dead end street which and then managed to make a couple of wrong turns on my way out in other dead end streets (damn subdivision, I haven't been to his house in over 2 years).

Then it was on to MattyK's. The only obstacle there was having to run through a maze of cars. It also was about ready to start raining at this point. I was terrified that all my work would go to waste and they'd either completely blow away in the middle of the night or the eggs and jelly beans would crack and melt all over their lawns and make everyone mad at me. Matt figured out it was me right away due to my obsessive use of pink.

I dropped JoeJoe's off next. I tucked his behind a milk crate hoping that that would anchor it so it wouldn't blow away. The next day, he apparently discovered it on his way to church and was thoroughly perplexed as to who the Easter Bunny was (this despite the fact that we had earlier had a conversation where I oddly and awkwardly confirmed that he would be sleeping there that night).

I next made it back to Brookfield where I dropped off Jenny's (at this point it was really raining so I was getting worried) and Nadia's (I had to run around the block with hers because I didn't want to park in her driveway after 1 in the morning). And then drove back home to hang up my ears for the rest of the year.

I love playing Easter bunny! Its fun to bring presents to people in the middle of the night. You get the same thrill as you would egging a house or something, but even better because you're doing good. I like making people happy.

The last time I did this I was a senior in high school. My friends and I went around to all our crushes and noncrushes homes and hid eggs and left notes from the Easter Bunnies. One of my friends had a crush on this one guy and so we decided to put "Will you go to prom with me?" on the note for him. Of course, what she didn't know was that this guy had a huge crush on me at the time and he, of course, thought it was me asking him. I told him the truth but in the end we ended up going to prom together anyways.

Sorry to all those who didn't get baskets (I am not driving to Nebraska or Virginia just to drop off some eggs, sorry). Hope y'all had a Happy Easter all the same!

When I was a kid I used to take pictures cat food ad kittens and glue cut-out pictures of human eyes and noses and mouths over their features. I made this example tonight to illustrate this:

It took me about 2 hours and entirely too many magazines to find good kitten ad. There used to be a lot more when I was younger.

I love my car because I now have automatic windows, which means that on hot days I can open them all and have wind coming in from all directions. I love Saturns because it was the first car I'd ever been naked in; this fact did influence my decision in buying one. Yesterday I cleaned out all the random papers in my car and I had to lie on the backseat to get them out. It was rather comfortable and brought back some memories.
Don't get me wrong though, I do miss Krusty the Kar and how it shook violently when I hit the brake and how the roof rack made the radio stations come in too fuzzy in the rain and how the spare tire was filled with green pennies and how people would think I was a cop in the middle of the night.

I read a book yesterday called the Year of Yes. Basically for a year the author went out with every guy (and girl) who asked her so she went out with like over 100 people or something ridiculous like that. WTF? I haven't been asked out by anyone in the last 2 and a half years (and basically my whole life), who gets asked out that much?

Last night my teacher said that writers are the type of people who think of what they should have said after they left the party. That is 100% me. I often go home and start rewriting conversations in my head (I have a knack sometimes for remembering exactly word for word conversations I've had if they mean something to me, I swear by their accuracy, but I oft wish that these conversations went differently, or that I said what I meant or what I felt, or that I wasn't too afraid to talk). Sometimes years later I am still trying to change what I said but I'm not one of those people who can start believing something that didn't really happen. In my head I can go back and say yes to taking that walk on your birthday, I can tell my guidance counselor in grade school that they were just stories, I could say I like you or I love you or I want you. I can never think of anything to say in the moment.

When I got home from class last night (after, of course, watching taped AI and ANTM) I flipped around and got suckered into a Walk in the Clouds, which is a cheesy sappy movie but made me cry. At one point the guy gave Mandy Moore a star named after her. I've always wanted my own star but it's not the type of thing you buy for yourself, it's the type of thing the cute charming guy in a movie will buy for the awkward sweet girl so she'll fall in love. I looked it up online, and I guess to no real surprise, this whole naming a star thing is all a scam. None of it is official or anything. Basically you're just buying a piece of paper. I will never be a star. This made me cry.

In other news, to all those who celebrate steak and blow job day, someone invented this: Cake and Cunnilingus Day! Let's celebrate!

In other news, Ed Gein's property in Wisconsin is for sale. If I had an extra $250,000 to spare I would so buy it. For those not in the know, Ed Gein is the great American serial killer hero who killed people and made people suits who inspired such films as Psycho and Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Silence of the Lambs. Although MattH was against my wasting my money, he did say I should open a horror museum, as long as he got stock options and free admission.

So, I was searching around google last night and came across this::
Bromann Playlot Park
in Edgewater, Chicago.
No one in my immediate family had ever heard of it before. And this has been around since the 70s. Weird.
I guess it was named after one of my relatives from the part of the family we never talked to for whatever reason (had something to do with that side having money and our side not so much).
So apparently I have a park.
Who's up for a field trip there this summer???

My hair is going to fall out by the end of this year. I swear it will. I'm trying to gradually lighten it to a natural looking color (for the sake of Jenny's wedding and me finding a new job). But this:

is booooring brown (and still has orangy roots). I think I'll just go back to my signature reddish brown soon, that seems to take well to anything plus looks semi-natural.

I would also like to give a frowny sad face to Scott and JoeJoe who rejected my brilliant idea of us getting matching tattoos in Poland. :(

Happy Birthday Jen!

Yayjen! Last night we went out to Ballydoyle in Downers for some birthday drinking. She thought no one would show because we had work in the morning, bah when have I ever cared that much about work?

On my way there I got lost (not really lost, I just didn't see it and passed it and had to turn around). Once I found the parking garage I parked and proceeded to get lost going out, I had no idea which way to go.)

The bar was fun. Jen got drunk. I had a beer that was like Killians but not Killians and drank the whole thing (minus what matt drank. And what scott drank. And what I spilled all over myself) in only 2 hours. They had an Irish band playing songs that only Jen and I appreciated enough to sing out loud along (like Love Shack and Safety Dance). I finally got to meet Rory, one of MattH's best friends, only 2 and a half years after we broke up after going out for two years. At the end of the night the bad idea bears (aka MattH, MattK, and Rory) tried unsuccessfully to get me to drink an extra blow job shot that was sitting on the table, and successfully to get jen to drink it. Um, bad idea? Yes.

After only one wrong turn in the parking lot resulting in a dead end (this is why I don't drive anywhere) I managed to make it home fine. MattyK got Jen home without any wrong doings happening to the carpets of his car.

more pics here!

So, yesterday I bartered sexual favors with Rob in exchange for an mp3 of this song:

"Summer Girls"

Yeah...I like it when the girls stop by.. In the summer
Do you remember, Do you remember?
...when we met..That summer??

[Chorus]

New Kids On The block,had a bunch of hits
Chinese food makes me sick.
And I think it's fly when girls stop by for the summer,for the summer
I like girls that wear Abercrombie and Fitch,
I'd take her if I had one wish,
But she's been gone since that summer..
Since that summer

[Verse 1]

Hip Hop Marmalade spic And span,
Met you one summer and it all began
Your the best girl that I ever did see,
The great Larry Bird Jersey 33
When you take a sip you buzz like a hornet
Billy Shakespere wrote a whole bunch of sonnets
Call me Willy Whistle cause I can't speak baby
Sumthin in your eyes went and drove me crazy
Now I can't forget you and it makes me mad,
Left one day and never came back
Stayed all summer then went back home,
Macauly Culkin wasn't Home Alone
Fell deep in love,but now we ain't speakin
Michael J Fox was Alex P Keaton
When I met you I said my name was Rich
You look like a girl from Abercrombie and Fitch

[Chorus]

New Kids On The block,had a bunch of hits
Chinese food makes me sick.
And I think it's fly when girls stop by for the summer,for the summer
I like girls that wear Abercrombie and Fitch,
I'd take her if I had one wish,
But she's been gone since that summer..
Since that summer

[Verse 2]

Cherry Pez,cold crush,rock star boogie
Used to hate school so I had to play hookie,
Always been hip to the B-boY Style
Known to act wild and make girls smile,
Love New Edition and the Candy Girl
Remind me of you because you rock my world
You come from Georgia where the peaches grow
They drink lemonade and speak real slow
You love hip hop and rock n roll
Dad took off when you were 4 years old
There was a good man named Paul Revere
I feel much better baby when you're near
You love fun dip and cherry Coke,
I like the way you laugh when I tell a joke
When I met you I said my name was Rich
You look like a girl from Abercrombie and Fitch

[Repeat Chorus]

Bridge In the summertime girls got it goin on,
Shake and wiggle to a hip hop song
Summertime girls are the kind I like,
I'll steal your honey like I stole your bike

[Verse 3]

Bugaloo shrimp and pogo sticks
My mind takes me back there oh so quick
Let you off the hook like my man Mr. Limpet
Think about that summer and I bug,cause I miss it
Like the color purple,macaroni and cheese,
Ruby red slippers and a bunch of trees
Call you up but whats the use
I like Kevin Bacon,but I hate Footloose
Came in the door I said it before,I think I'm over you
but I'm really not sure
When I met you I said my name was Rich
You look like a girl from Abercrombie and Fitch
repeat Chorus

[Bridge]

In the summer girls come and summer girls go
Some are worth while and some are so so,
Summer girls come and summer girls go
Some are worth while and some are so so,
Summertime girls got it goin on
Shake and wiggle to a hip hop song
Summertime girls are the kind I like
I'll steal your honey like I stole your bike

[Repeat Chorus]

Yes. So, I'm officially pathetic.
I got the song, he gets to touch my boob next time I see him. Hehe.
He originally requested naked pics so I sent him this one:

Naked Pic!

Today I had one of these:

Coca-Cola Blak. It's a combination of my two favorite drinks: Coke and Coffee. I'm still not sure if it tasted good or bad. I'll get back to you.

Oh, and next week on American Idol they are performing the songs of Queen. wtf?

Dictionary.com's word of the day

ok, ok, so its not what you'd think, but still funny.

Today I gave my boss my two month notice. I know it is customary to give two weeks, but we need the time to hire and train someone new, so I figured the sooner, the better. Plus, my horoscope today was this:

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Perhaps more than any other sign, you benefit from a lovely planetary transit that occurs in the morning. Until 10:20 a.m., it's the perfect time to sign contracts, agree to deals, buy and sell, initiate new partnerships, or do any kind of important communication. Go, go, go!

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): If you conduct business early this morning (before 10:20 a.m.), you're laughing! It is almost certain that whatever you initiate before that time will turn out to be profitable now and in the future. It's also a good time to ask for a raise or to start a new job or devise any moneymaking scheme!

(yes, as a Capriquarius I follow both.)

So, there was no better time. It actually went really well. My boss said that she figured it would be coming since I'm nearing the end of my masters program and that she was really happy that I'd get to go travel this summer and that it is the perfect time since I'll be in a transition. She also said they'd be very flexible with my last day and that if I need/want to I can come back at any time and that the door will always be open for me.

So, tentatively my plan for the summer is this:

June 22-July 12 - Europe
Munich, Germany
Zurich, Switzerland
Interlochen, Switzerland
Venice, Italy
Florence, Italy
Rome, Italy
Athens, Greece
Krakow, Poland
Paris, France

July - White Water Rafting (somewhere out east maybe)
No dates set, and it may be in May instead. And it will depend on if I can get around summer school.

July 17-August 18 - Summer School
Text & Image 2 nights per week

August 12 - Jenny's Wedding!

Late August - perhaps my arm can be twisted towards Virginia

Any other time during that will be spent working on my novel and other writing and applying for jobs and such. My Then hopefully I will find a job and have my last quarter of grad school.

When I was in high school and on the brink of choosing between my current unrequited crush and moving on to a new one (they were always unrequited) I'd play a little scenario game in my head to help sort things out. I'd close my eyes and everything would become some 50s black & white James Dean greaser-type movie. I'd be standing alone on a road that stretched out straight in front of me, though you could hardly tell from the all the fog. On either side of me would be a car, each manned by one of the two boys. Over the raring of the engines they'd both be motioning for me and yelling for me. "Val, get in my car." "Val, come with me." They were about to take off and I could only choose one of them to go with. I'd close my eyes tighter and look back and forth between the cars and I'd know in my heart which car to get into which boy to ride away with. Sometimes my choice would surprise even me.

For the first time in probably seven years I would get into a different car. Much like it was in high school, however, it doesn't really matter which car I choose because once I open my eyes neither is yelling for me or beckoning for me.

Back then I could blame it on my shyness, the fact that I'd never actively pursue one of these crushes. But now, in a leap of faith, I actually confessed my feelings to the guy I couldn't get out of my head. I thought by the way he acted towards me and the things he'd say to me that he felt the same way towards me but my confession was only matched by an outright statement that he has no feelings for me at all and that he never wants to date me.

And now all I want to do is get into my Saturn and drive away.