While watching the Kentucky Derby:
Me: So when the horse wins, who gets the money? The rider, the trainer, or the horse?
Scott: Some to the rider, some to the trainer, but mostly the owner.
Me: Oh, so the horse doesn't get anything?
Scott: The real money though is from the stud fees.
Me: Oh! So the winning horse gets lots of sex! That's a good prize.
Joe: Imagine if that was the prize for the Chicago Marathon.
Me: Oh man, I'd run.

I got together with Scott and JoeJoe today to plan some more of the trip. We booked two hostels: one in Interlaken and one in Florence. Yay! I want to stay here in Venice because it seems to be owned by a parrot. Who doesn't want to stay in a parrot-owned hostel?
Hmm, I just looked up the Interlaken hostel and it says: "We welcome guests from every confession. We are Christians and we try to share God's love with the people we meet in a natural way." Oh man, they are going to try to convert me. I am now scared.

I called him last night (It's been over a week, I've gotten better) and he didn't answer because he never answers.
He called me back an hour later, the first time he's called since early December.
The phone woke me up because I had it set on "way too loud."
I didn't pick up and that was the first time ever I heard him call and didn't answer.

Today was my dog's birthday. He is 62 in dog years and therefore retired. My dad made him cherry turnovers:

and gave him presents:

I was tempted to buy him some Fabulous and Gay Pet Shampoo because he is a closeted homosexual (he also is very into Frog toys sometimes, hmmm) but I never got around to it. He did get a doggy cell phone though, so he can at least be metro.

Oh! Only 4 more weeks of work!