1. My dog is a pimp

2. HOLY SHIT! JOEY CHESTNUT BEAT KOBAYAHI'S RECORD!!!! I can't wait for the Fourth of July battle to see what happens!!!

3. After the power outage...
Mom: The computer is broken.
Me: No, it is turned off.

4. My dad is back from the hospital...which is kind of odd since it's been three days since his surgery...and they originally said it would be five days in the hospital and then five days in a recovery center. Eh.

5. ValCap
So You Think You Can Dance
ummm...i dunno...I don't really remember it

On The Lot
This is so horribly bad. Last week it was interesting but now they switched to an American-Idol rip off show. You know how on the American Idol results show it's an hour of worthless filler? Of course you didn't because you don't watch American Idol, but it is. On On The Lot, they did one worse, and hour long results show with NO FILLER. Nothing. They kicked three people off in an hour and that was it. It was the most worthless crap of TV ever. And the host is a moron who mispronounces every other word including "Carrie Fisher." And the movies sucked. Ohman, this is going to be a long summer. The network got smart and cut the damn show to once a week.

The Next Best Thing
haha, so, you know reality TV is going down the drain when even Val looks at the TV Guide and says "God, I have no desire to watch a bunch of celebrity impersonators."

Pirate Master
This show was something awful. Mostly because these people will never be considered pirates. First of all, the host totally needed to be like Captain Hook, not some washed up (not a pun) old actor. Second they allowed women on the show. Women aint pirates, they should have their own show: Ship Wench Master. Third, when they had to dive into the water, some of them were wearing goggles. Pirates don't wear goggles. Fourth, there's a district attorney who is keeping that a secret because for some reason she thinks it is an advantage. Fifth, this one dude kept saying that they couldn't vote him off because he was the only one who had a compass. Then they kicked him off. And they let him leave with his damned compass! A real pirate would have stolen it. Sixth, they didn't make the loser walk the plank.

National Spelling Bee
Seriously, the National Spelling Bee is the best couple of hours on television each year. Some highlights and lowlights:
- Samir got cut early! Resulting conversation with Joe:
Val: !!! Samir didn't even make the finals!!!!
JoeJoe: boo hoo
Val: its like if Mark Buehrle was cut from the team
Val: and i say that because i went to the white sox website and that name was the first one i saw
JoeJoe: ha - for a moment i was impressed
Val: :-)
- The Canadians spell words with a "zed"
- man: your word is "Punaise" it's another word for a bedbug kid: "I like bedbug better"
- One of the kids so had a moustache
- For a second year in a row, it came down to an American and a Canadian. Who let Canadians into the National Spelling Bee?
- Congratulation Evan O'Dorney - keeping it in America!