Yesterday I turned 22 (+5). Thanks to everyone who came out to celebrate with me!!! It was definitely a day filled with the three things a woman wants most: chocolate, wine, and naked men!!!

1. Chocolate
In the afternoon Nadia and I met at Chocolate for Your Body. Nad got a regular mani and I splurged on a "chocolate signature". It's my party, I can splurge if I want to!

The manicure involved a cocoa scrub that made my hands nice and soft (and tasty I can assume), truffles (to eat, not for my hands), and coating my hands with a layer of chocolate.

After getting our nails all purdy Nad and I headed next door to Kristoffer's Café and Bakery

for some chocolate flan and coffee. It was a cute place but, let me tell you, I have never before peed in a bathroom that had a urinal in it. Ew.

2. wine
After gussying up our nails and caffinating ourselves, Nad and headed over to Jen's place. In the time it took to walk from the car to her place, walk down the wrong pathway and get locked in the alley, I seriously felt like my hands were going to fall off. Luckily we finally found the way in to thaw off. Then Josh called and apparently the bar lost my reservation for 15. Fuck. Isla came and drove us to the bar and they were working on setting up our table. Thankfully they were still able to accommodate us.

The restaurant we went to was Volo Restaurant and Wine Bar and it was delicious. We had good wine, good food, good friends...

I tried some marrow bones and will never ever eat them again. Honestly, I really think all those chefs pretend they like such things to be all pretentious. But how can anyone like that crap? It had the texture of sandy snot and tasted horrible. On a better note the steak tartar was DEVINE and the duck confit was DEVINE. Josh and I also shared some Seared Yellowtail Tataki, but we still haven't decided what kind of citrus was pickled.

15 people showed up, which was totally awesome. Sarah came and, despite the fact that she hardly knows me, she completely gets me because she gave me a pink sparkly dragonfly and a Victoria's Secret gift card (pink, dragonflies, and VS are three of my very favorite things). Chelsa from work came and brought a friend. Rob and Chris and Aimee showed up despite having to be at a party in Milwaukee later that night. Meredith and Isla and Jen and Alina and Jenny and Adam and Nadia and Josh came too!!! Jen gave me a cute Smurfette tee and a pink candleholder. And Nadia gave me what she described as a "lame" present of a candleholder. It totally wasn't lame! But she said it was my fake present because my real one, a pink Rabbit wine opener, didn't arrive yet...In talking about this some people overheard pink rabbit and assumed it was something else...

Josh showed me what he really thinks of me by getting me a bottle of Bitch wine.

The label is PINK and, well, I am a bitch, so it's only appropriate.

Honestly I did not expect anything from anyone, I was just happy people came out during the zero degree weather!!!

My wine was yummy too. I was bad and ordered whites then proceeded to order a lot of red meat. But ohwellz. I had a lovely white wine flight. Then I had a Gewurtztraminer. Later I also had a yummy muscado d'asti.

They brought me a yummyyummy flourless chocolate cake with mint ice cream and everyone sang and I got to make a wish on my candle, which is always my favorite part, because I wish on just about everything you can wish on.

3. naked men
After the wine bar I bid adieu to a few of my female friends and all of the few guys left and the remaining chicas headed to Annoyance Theatre. We hung out at the bar there and played the game of Memory that I found on the shelf. Did I ever mention how much I suck at Memory? Ask me exactly what a certain person said to me at a certain time and I can probably repeat our conversation word for word. Ask me to remember where the little black boy is and I go blank.

After a couple rousing rounds we headed into the theatre for SKINPROV and the perfect night of entertainment to get your mind off of the fact that your best guy friends all ditched you for another party and none of them even bothered to call to wish you a happy birthday. But who cares about that when you've got drinks and half-naked men!!!

We beat the rest of the crowd into the theatre for prime first row seatage. The show was basically a bunch of men improving scenes and taking off all their clothes. They ended the first scene by all taking off their shirts. A couple short scenes later they paired up for small scenes that each ended with "Let's take off our pants." By the end of the show (and some taking off multiple pairs of underwear) we were left with g-stringed and jock-strapped men and a whole lotta nakedmanass.

After the show we headed back out to the annoyance bar to talk with the guys, still walking around shirtless. They got me a couple of shots and I ended up having both a buttery nipple and a pussy shot on them. The one naked man told us that he'd sucked more cock than anyone else there...and then introduced us to his lovely girlfriend.

We stuck around until they closed, drank some drinks, chatted up the bartenders, then headed off to Uptown Lounge...mostly because it was just around the corner and fucking freezing.

The bar definitely wasn't my cup of tea. Mostly because I hate talking to people I have absolutely no interest in. And because every three minutes the waitress came up and asked us if we needed anything else. We stayed out till about 4:30, well past the text message the guys sent to say their party was over.

All in all my party was totally awesome and I am so happy that everyone came who did! I have tons of amazing friends and I am glad they came out to share my night of turning 22+5!!!

INCRIMINATING PICTURES HERE!