2. My photo is on Kystalist.

Friday

After leaving work early, after having to go in on my day off, I met up with Em and we made our way to the Congress Hotel (right across from Grant Park) where the Champaign kids (Jeff and Lindsay) were checking in. Jeff introduced me and Emily to each other but neglected to introduce Kevin as his brother. After checking in we ditched our stuff and headed across the street to Lollapalooza.

We got our nifty wristbands that were made of cloth so that they didn't cut into you like paper/plastic ones do. Which was good because we'd have to wear them straight for three days. The drawback (as I found throughout the weekend) was that the tail of them was just long enough to dip into everything I ate and get in the way, well, after going to the bathroom... But enough about my hygiene...

Louis XIV
First up was Louis XIV. I told Jeff that I thought he was dead. Apparently not. I remember that I liked them. But that's about all. I don't think I could even see them well enough to tell you if they were hot. It was fucking crowded. And hot. It was hot. I was wearing jeans too because I hate shorts. This was like a million bands ago though. So I don't remember them much...

Gogol Bordello
Gogol Bordello was AWESOME! They were basically Gypsy polka punk. Picture that one. And then picture people being hired to dance and scream. Jeff got hit in the head with a banana at one point. That had nothing to do with the band though. I think it may have been a loose monkey. Not loose as in easy, loose as in out of its cage.

After the show we went and got Cokes, which were only $2 which is what you'd pay in Chicago outside of the concert so it was nice of them not to totally rip us off. Em got a fried Twinkie which was OK but not spectacular. I remember the Twinkie, it didn't have a hot guitarist.

Mates of State
We made our way over to Mates of State, which was pretty mellow and good. Like the descriptive phrases I use? We didn't stay long though.

Raconteurs
We didn't stay long for the Raconteurs either. I spent most of the time watching this little girl who was totally rocking out on her mom's shoulders. By rocking out I mean she was trying to eat her mom's hair clip. I thought she was going to choke.

Bloc Party
Bloc Party rocked and I remembered why: because they were British. I also liked their music, but of course I don't remember how it went. But I liked it before I knew they were British. While Em and Jeff sat I danced the whole time. I had warned Jeff the two rules of Val concert going before we started: 1. I can dance to anything. 2. I pretend to know the words to every song. He had bumped my two to three and added his own 2: I will pretend that I don't know you. So he pretended that he didn't know me while I danced to all their songs (including what turned out to be them just tuning their guitars).

CSS
CSS (which I don't think stand for Cascading Style Sheets) was pretty fun, but mostly because they taught you dances to go along with each song.

Radiohead
Radiohead was the big headliner this year. They were...OK...I think they were a little too mellow for me. I like mellow music, but not at the end of the day when you're adrenaline has been building all day and you just want to rock out. I felt like they spent entirely too much time on their light show and not enough time putting on a show. I can't recall them even addressing the audience. There were fireworks to go along with the show though. Actually they were for Soldier Field and not lolla, but they went along just fine.

After the Show
We ditched out a little early and went to go shower off the dirt. Then we walked around forever to find food. You'd think a diner with a giant lit up sign that says EAT would be open. You'd think. We ended up at Bar Louie. I got a delicious burger with bacon and egg and cheese. Rob (different Rob than the ones you know) commented on the fact that I left a huge salad on my plate when I took off all of the vegetables. I was happy that the bar offered free refills on Cokes because I didn't feel like drinking and bars always charge you extra.

I had a great moment of joy when I noticed that the Cubs mural in a Wrigleyville bar showed a score of visitors: 11, Cubs: 8. I was happy at their losing until the bartended pointed out blah blah blah, bases loaded, blah blah blah Sammy Sosa. I still think the crowd looked pretty dull and uninterested for it to be a pro-Cubs mural.

After finally eating we met back up with Em at her friends bar where I didn't drink my PBR and this Mexican and/or Asian guy kept putting his arm around me and telling me my hair was like a cats. We called it an "early" night.

Saturday

I decided to rock shorts for the first time in probably five years because it had been so damn hot the day before. Jeff wanted Cinnabon because apparently in the massive Champaign expansion that was one thing they neglected to add. So we went and got sugary rolls and sugary coffees for breakfast. We headed over to play with the bean, which is fun to do no matter how many times you do it. So after sugaring ourselves up and playing with big shiny things it was time to head on over to the concert...

Dr. Dog
I don't think we paid much attention to them. They were just kind of there. We saw part of them live and then part of them in the AT&T booth on TV. We got little motorized fans in the tent and proceeded to spend the rest of the weekend trying to kill (or at least injure) people with them.

Dierks Bentley
Before heading over to Dierks Bentley, Em and I got a sports bottle of wine to share. Really, how can you not get a sports bottle full of wine if it's available? We sipped our wine while listening. They were kind of country but really good. I need to find a word that is better than good. Maybe I should go to college for writing and get a Masters or something. Maybe then I'd know more words.

Steel Train
Steel Train rocked. And I swear not just because they were hot. They had a great sound and I can't wait to get some of their albums so I can remember what that sound was :-) (Seriously, this is the stupidest recap ever.) I swear I honestly loved them. And yes, they were hot too which did not hurt.

MGMT or Booka Shade
We saw one of these people next. Or both. Then I got chicken fingers. They were tasty.

Brand New
OK, so for some reason I don't remember them either. Jeff describes their sound as "ummm brand new was at the far south end, we were there with kevin." I'll go with that as a description.

Lupe Fiasco
Eh, wasn't that impressed.

Toadies
Again I don't really remember, but I think we mostly listed to them from afar as we staked out spots for Rage...Oh, there was a song they played that Jeff and Lindz insisted that I would know "from the radio." I did not know it.

Rage Against the Machine
Rage was awesome but dumb at the same time. The music was fun but then the front man spent half the set telling people to calm down and take five steps back and then busted out a spiel threatening to burn down Obama's house. I stayed with Jeff and Kevin for a bit longer than Em, Lindz, and Rob, but we bailed a little early. The first song they played though did mark the first song I recognized the entire concert.

After the Show
We ditched out a little early and went to go shower off the dirt. Then we walked around forever to find food. Jeff wanted to trek to the Portillo's because apparently in the massive Champaign expansion that was one thing they neglected to add. We got our hot dog fix then cabbed it back to the hotel bar and called it an "early" night.

Sunday

Jeff took off early to resolve some phone problems. The rest of us packed up and checked out of the hotel and grabbed some Dunkin Donuts before heading to Lolla...

Wild Sweet Orange
This was our first stop of the day. We chilled in the grass and compared scars. We found out that none of us were alone in the world: we all had a dark mark on us somewhere from stabbing ourselves (or getting stabbed) with pencils in our youth. Rob said he thought he was the only one and it's funny 'cause I always thought the same thing. Why does that damn pencil mark never go away? Oh, I liked this band too.

Dell Dome
The Dell Dome was not a band, it was a dome. You got to go in there and they made a custom button for you. I ripped out a page of the lolla schedule with Steel Train in the middle since I liked them the best thus far. Even if I don't remember what they sounded like.

Tally Hall
If I had made a button after Tally Hall, I probably would have made a button of them. They rocked and I DO remember what they sounded like. But too bad I wasn't a writing major because then maybe I could describe it. They are kind of like They Might Be Giants in that they are more humorous. They might be my new new favorite band.

Break Time
We spent some time chillaxing in the Lederhosen Beer Garden and watching people play Guitar Hero and Sing Star then took a break from the fest to walk down Michigan Ave.

Flogging Molly
Forget what I said (OK I didn't say here) about being happy that this was a festival that I'd relax at because I didn't really have any preconceived cares about who I saw. Because when the ONE band of the entire festival that I knew and loved was about to take stage and I wasn't there yet, I was kind of pissed. But once I got there and we met back up with Jeff I was fine. Flogging Molly was awesome as always and my list of songs I know was multiplied by ten or so.

Girl Talk
Girl Talk ended up being pretty AMAZING. It's a DJ who does crazy cool mashups. I quite enjoyed the sound because it wasn't all pretentious my taste in music is better than yours crap and (t)(s)he(y) used a bunch of random songs. It was awesome and everyone was dancing up a storm. Even the one-legged girl in the tree.

Mark Ronson
We sat around listening to Mark Ronson while we chilled. He did his song called Valerie (that's normally done with Amy Winehouse) that they had been playing all over Amsterdam. Or at least over and over in one bar in Amsterdam. There was a girl lying in the grass the entire time who wasn't moving. Jeff kept yelling "poke the dead chick...five dollars!" Although I swear he was yelling "hump the dead chick" but he denied it and called me sick.

Kanye West
No one really wanted to see Kanye, but rumors swelled all weekend that Obama was going to introduce him. Rumors were just rumors and we fled after one song.

Nine Inch Nails
We booked it to the other side of the park to catch Nine Inch Nails. After about ten minutes my first comment was "Doesn't this band...sing?" They were doing some weird experimental stuff where it was all odd music lights and such. After a while of this finally it turned into a Nine Inch Nails concert. Not that I know what Nine Inch Nails does but that seemed more them and less, umm, Peter Frampton or something. That part was pretty awesome. Oh, and the chicks in front of me kept inching further and further up, leaving their backpack further and further behind. I was tempted to steal it, for the sole fact that people who leave their bags in the middle of a concert deserve to have it stolen. But I'm not that kind of person.

So that was Lolla in a nutshell. OK, maybe not a nutshell. More like a more-than-slightly deformed world's largest watermelon shell. But I guess that's more of a rind than a shell. But let's go with that.

LOLLAPALOOZA PHOTOS HERE!!!

2. Super Secret Mission #2 (no clues for you on this one) (5)
I have pretty much decided that this will not be accomplished this year. Still not telling you what it is. Hopefully next year...

13. Coney Island for the Fourth of July (5)
It was AMAZING!

39. See two other musicals (3)
This was already crossed off...but I saw Spring Awakening too!

61. Watch all the seasons of 24 (3)
I finally started season 4!

62. See 5 Dario Argento films (2)
I watched Deep Red now 1.5 times and can't get into it because they keep switching to Italian that I can't understand. But I think that still counts, and that's maybe 3 or 4.

64. Watch all the Indiana Jones movies (I have honestly never seen a one of them) (2)
I watched the third...now I just have to watch the newest one...

93. Beat my taste-going record :) (probably not possible as I hope to be in NYC for much of it, but I can try!) (3)
I went 8 times, which ties my eight from last year...but I also went to taste of champaign and taste of Lincoln Ave....So I win.

105. Audition for American Idol (I crossed this off last year by applying to a reality show, but I get ec this year if I actually audition for AI) (2)
There are no auditions in Chicago, and this is not worth driving for...next year is my last chance though.

138. Learn to use my ipod and get all my music on it (0.5)
I...ummm...used my ipod this month.

143. See Takeru Kobayashi (2)
AMAZING...simply AMAZING.

July total: 10
June total: 3.5
May total: 13
April total: 0
March total: 1
February total: 5
January total: 13
Total Points: 45.5

2. Sid's Dream Bedroom:

toast mattress

3. milkbones taste disgusting. Not that I put one in my mouth or anything...

4. i let a clerk at tjmax sucker me into donating a dollar. Part of me wants to believe that he really wants to help the children. A bigger part thinks there is probably a contest to see who can get the most donations.

5. I stole this pic from Julie. I just think it's kind of awesome.

6. I am watching Deep Red right now but it's annoying me. The movie is in Italian...most of it has been dubbed over but every few scenes it is in Italian with no dubbing and no subtitles.

7. Random im conversations:

me: so i heard from the grapevine that i am one of only five single girls invited to your wedding
Rob: pretty much
me: i don't know if i should feel sad at that fate or happy that i will have my pick of men
Rob: you will have your pick of a number of nerds and geeks
me: so sad then

Mike: becareful of the gods wathching me
(next morning)
me: ummm...ok?
(that afternoon)
Mike: hmmm, i have no idea what that IM was about

Jeff:: you may be slpitting a bed with rob
me: i don't care who i sleep with, i'm not picky
Jeff:: haha ok we will tell rob that except instead of picky, we will say easy
me: eh, that's more appropriate of a description

I don't know if he meant to say there that I am a slut, or really was looking out for me...

Janet Jackson
July 13, 1994
My first concert. I liked Janet Jackson back then because we danced a lot to her in dance classes. I was supposed to go with a friend, but she had to cancel and not go because her parents said she was "too suggestive."

Morrissey
September 26, 1997
I went with my sister because she needed someone to go with. We were right up against the stage at the Aragon. I had eye contact with the bass player or guitar player or something.

Whatever Q101 (I think)'s Music Thing was Called
Some time in high school
I just remember that I went to this but don't remember who played or when. I remember getting food at some place and Sera squishing a pigs in a blanket on Jacqui's car window.

Tori Amos
Some time in high school
I still remember the beginning to the song i composed while waiting for this to start. Oh Heindrick oh Heindrick can you spare a dime...Ask me to sing it for you.

REM
Some time in high school
It was Michael Stipes' moms birthday, so he called her and had everyone sing happy birthday.

Teen Idols Tour with Peter Noone, Davy Jones, and Bobby Sherman
August 15, 1998
Mickey Dolenz is the cutest Monkee ever. But Davey Jones would have to do. I saw my first shooting star that night.

Lilith Fair
1999
What do I remember the most? The fact that they wouldn't let the women use the mens bathrooms (even though it was 99% women at the fest...the other 1% did in fact include my boyfriend).

Bob Dylan
October 27, 1999
Went with Josh at Assembly Hall.

Eve 6
March 4, 2001
I want to say that for some reason I bought Hood's ticket to this and he paid me back with cash wrapped in a piece of paper stapled together with a bazillion staples. That could have been for something else though. I may have still been slightly afraid of him at that point.

Blink 182
July 7, 2001
You know you're too old for something when you're surrounded by little girls with the band members names in facepaint.

Matchbox Twenty
August 3, 2001
Was this the concert where JoeJoe's car broke down in the parking lot? And Joe either saw a naked man or two teddy bears in a car? And we went to Denny's and Glen ordered two meals? It was either this one or the next one...

Barenaked Ladies
August 24, 2001
I didn't even remember that I saw them, but apparently I did. This may have contained the incidents I described above.

Saraphine
2001
The one guy in the band was friends with my best friend's sister. So we saw them a couple of times. Nad came down for one show at the Canopy Club. It was just before I started dating Hood and I had her check him out. Phil, the guy we knew, is now in Treaty of Paris.

They Might Be Giants
October 18, 2001
I saw They Might Be Giants Live?!?! That's news to me.

Vans Warped Tour
July 27, 2002
My best friend got engaged here on stage with the Mighty Mighty Bosstones.

Indigo Girls
2002 or 2003
They played at Krannert Center so I scored free seats by ushering! We had a round table discussion with them beforehand and they kind of pissed me off...but that's just because I am the anti-feminist/anti-protesting/anti-whatever type.

Barenaked Ladies and Alanis Morrisette
July 21, 2004
I remember seeing them this time. My new boss had a ticket she wasn't using and gave it to me. Score.

Plain White T's
July 26, 2007
We were going to see them at the county fair...but then their dumbass opening band broke everything and they were 2 hours late going on. We ditched out and went to see the premiere of the Simpsons movie instead.

Flogging Molly
February 16, 2008
Awesome concert, awesome friends. The opening band had a chick on a washboard.

My "emo" post from the other day reminded me of the love poems I used to write in seventh grade. I had an unrequited and unadmitted crush on this guy (I would write his name here, but I'm afraid of him googling himself and seeing this) who lived around the block from me. I used to sit at my open window, which faced the backyard, the ally, and the street around the block in hopes of maybe seeing him walking the dog or heading to the library. Everyone knew that I had a crush on him but I still was always too shy and too embarrassed to admit that I had feelings for anyone.

These poems have been living on my website for years, but it's been probably years since I have even looked at them. Embarrassingly enough my poetry prowess back then was mostly influenced by the first verse of Janet Jackson's "That's the Way Love Goes." Reading them now though I'm shocked at how little I have changed since seventh grade. I could easily have written these today (an MA in writing and I'm positive my skill at poetry has not changed since grade school) about unrequited and unadmitted crushes, about being afraid, about hiding, about not admitting how I feel.

Hiding

Why do I hide?
Hide from my true feelings
Why do I say I don't
when I really do
Love you that is.
Why do I gaze at you
then turn when you look back
Why do I cry when I'm alone
because I'm alone
Because I can't face you
Why do I hide

Words

I can't let you scream at me
for I don't see your lips moving
the way you want me to move mine.
When you find the courage to do
what you want me to do
Then maybe I'll listen.
Then I'll let your words bore through my skull.
I'll let you torment me for being a fool.
Which I know that I am anyway
but don't forget that you're one too.
Anyway, I know that I can't speak.
I know that my lips will not move
for I am a fool.
Maybe I don't want to be
Maybe I don't even have to be
But I am, perhaps forever.
I've already lost so much, so many
for my lips will not move how you want them to.
So scream.
Scream as loud as you can.
I'll try to listen if you do the same.
Maybe I can be convinced.
Maybe someday I''ll scream as well.

Untitled

my mind is filled with thoughts of you
each and every day
my soul and heart argue together
there is just no way

no way your heart will feel for me
no way my heart will win
no way you'll ever love me true
my soul just will not sin

sin by letting our hearts go
free to intertwine
touch, feel, love, love
where they'd be just fine

fine and clean yet full of worry
they begin to wind
thoughts too heavy for me to handle
entering my mind

TWO
I keep forgetting that I want to be a writer. Lately my life is all about photography and web editing and I've forgotten about writing. Maybe it's because I've been staring at this draft of a novel for years and have no idea where I want to take it. Do I want to write a novel or a memoir or a young adult book. Maybe I can't write it because I am no longer obsessed with the topic. Maybe I'm just lazy.

All my life writing was something that I was told I was good at but something I always resisted. The first time I decided to be a writer was after my freshman year of college when I had a story to tell. I first wanted to write it for revenge. Then for empathy. Then for healing. My senior year of college I took a writing class and for a 15-page assignment I turned in a 72 page draft. The summer after I graduated I got it up to 120 pages. It's sat ever since. Shortly after that something happened and I no longer needed to be obsessed and, therefore, could no longer write it. I've written other things since but always abandon them after the first draft. And now that I am no longer in classes I find it hard to actually sit and write anything.

I've forgotten that I wanted to be a writer. I've forgotten that the story I wanted to tell (whether it be in novel, young adult, or memoir form) is still a story I feel should be told and that even though I don't need it anymore, maybe someone else does.

I need to figure it all out again. I want to finish it. I want to start it all over. I'm hoping that I can find the inspiration.

THREE
It's been a long time since I've picked up a book and couldn't put it down. Every once in a while I'll start reading and not be able to stop until I've gotten to the end. The last one, I'd say, was Gone With the Wind, which I read over a year ago and that still took me over a month to read despite the fact that I was obsessed over it. I bring this up because I write better and more when I read something that I find to be amazing.

I had a glimmer of this yesterday when I read the first entry in The Best American Essays of 2007. Three words in and I had to put it down to jot in my notebook a few paragraphs of a short story. The essay, "Werner" by Jo Ann Beard, was so captivating and well-written that I completely forgot that it was a true story and not a work of fiction. Unfortunately I quickly lost that mojo three sentences into the second essay, which was more academic.

They always say to be a good writer you have to read, and it's true. I definitely write my best and write more when I am reading something good. Unfortunately it seems that lately the closest I get to a book is "The Complete Guide to CSS" and the like.

If you've read this far (has anyone read this far?) please leave me a comment with a book recommendation. What's your favorite book, or one that you think is well written or one that changed your life or one that you keep reading over and over. I need good book suggestions. Maybe something will inspire me. And maybe if your book suggestion is good I'll thank you in the acknowledgments of my first novel.

- Planning Road Trips (and that I found at least one crazy friend who wants to drive to Mount Rushmore with me over Labor Day)

- Daydreaming (even though they will never come true)

- That I now may be booked to shoot three weddings.

- Another magazine might be publishing some of my photos.

- When people use my photos and credit me.

- That my favorite competitive eater asked if he could use a photo I took on a t-shirt!

- When the guy at Starbucks gives me my mocha for $2 and includes a free raspberry brownie because there was apparently a coupon for it that I didn't have.

- Free Leinenkugel Lip Balm

- My new Wii :) and my new Guitar Hero :) and my new Wii Fit :)

Things that make me sad:

- Daydreaming (because they will never come true)

- Realizing that if I ever do want to be a wedding photographer I'd have to give up my weekends.

- When people use my photos and don't credit me.

- That I can't figure out how to connect the Wii to the internet and therefore cannot get the competitive eating game. And that Iron Chef America isn't out yet...

- The fact that Robert Irvine lied and therefore was fired from Dinner: Impossible, which was my favorite show but now is horrible with the new host because the new host isn't as much of an ass and therefore the concept doesn't quite work. (I do like the host on Iron Chef (as much as I can like anyone on Iron Chef) just not on this particular show)

- I haven't seen the new Batman yet.

- Melted ice cream.

- Crappy expensive studio apartments (can I afford anything on my own in Chicago?)

***

So in typical Val/Emily fashion, this is how my Friday night plans came to fruition:
Val: Look Em, a sex tour of chicago!
Emily: I'll get the tickets!

Really, neither of us needed any convincing that this was a BRILLIANT idea. And really I could have said any event in there and we'd both be up for it...

***

After work I met up with Em, her coworkers, Parker (who DID NOT bring any hot law students with him), and Julie at Cactus where we got some beers and chatted (except not with hot law students). We left shortly after though to go grab dinner.

We grabbed a cab from an awesome cabbie and got dropped off at the Hard Rock Cafe. We got cosmos and purple hazes. The waiter made us get those instead of Irish coffees. He was cute and an actor and from Effingham and didn't like when we asked about the cross. We left him our numbers...

After dinner we went outside where our bus was waiting...

Our bus, of course, being the bus for the Weird Chicago Red Light District Sex Tour of Chicago!

Yes, yes. Emily and I spent our Friday night on a sex tour!

Our first stop was an "Adult Book Store" where our guide, Ken Berg, showed us around, explained the differences between types of butt plugs, anal beads, vibrators, etc. etc. Then we were taken into the private booths in the back to watch porn. Apparently it is actually illegal for women to be back there. You had to put tokens into the booth to watch it and then could flip the channels. There was even animated porn on one of the channels and some guy on guy and a lot of anal. Just in case you were keeping tabs.

This creepy guy then introduced himself to Em and I. He was kind of creepy.

The next stop on the tour was the liquor store to get some booze. Em and I got two big bottles and shared. I was already drunk by this point anyways and had to pee pretty badly, but you kind of have to drink when you're in a bus looking for sex-related things.

On our way to the next stop we drove through the Viagra triangle, and heard all about the advent of brothels and playboys in the city. My only gripe really was that we didn't really see any of these places, we were just kind of told about them.

Oh well because next up...

It was time to play "Spot the Ho!" aka "Ho or CVS (Common Variety Skank)." We drove up and down Lincoln in an area where all the hooker motels apparently are. We spotted plenty of CVSs and we spotted a few women who we were pretty certain were whores (we even saw one with a guy closing the door on a motel room...) It was a fun game!

We sped down LSD and then past Comiskey to get to our next location:

the S&M Dungeon of Miss Simone.

Basically it was a really nice apartment that just happened to have sex toys, restrains, masks, etc. over every inch of the wall. Mistress Simone is a pro dominatrix who specializes in medical play, which includes enemas and play piercings and such like that. There were several rooms and several apparatuses and a "Cross Dressing Room."

At one point I was startled to see someone in the corner in a cage but then realized it was just probably a mannequin. But then later when I got closer I noticed he was moving. Nope, the naked, blindfolded man with a rope hung around his penis standing in a cage was most definitely real...

We also saw a "full service" massage parlor that offers full release...But alas they were closed for the night...

The last stop was Batteries Not Included, which was another sex shop. We were schooled on the different types of vibrators. We were told things named after animals were good. What I never understood? Why are vibrators and dildos always given women's names?

Yup...it was just a typical night in Valryland :-)

p.s. sorry for the lack of photos. I really didn't think it was appropriate to take pictures of strangers in sex shops and dominatrixes in their natural environment...