Recently in books Category

1. "If neurotic is wanting two mutually exclusive things at one and the same time, then I'm neurotic as hell. I'll be flying back and forth between one mutually exclusive thing and another for the rest of my days." Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

2. I came across this picture while searching through my old laptop. I quite like it...well, other than the fact that my socks look kind of dumb. It's from the same photo shoot as the photos at the top of this website. I don't think it's ever been posted, so I choose to post it now.

3. I have been really antsy and aloof and unmotivated at work lately. I came to a realization today that may explain why: I am at about the point in this job where I quit my last job. In a few months, since I have no intentions of quitting this job any time soon, I will have been at this job longer than any job I have ever had. Unless I get fired for being antsy and aloof and unmotivated of course. It's an odd feeling. I hopefully will snap out of it very soon.

4. Dear chain coffee houses. Take a hint from the little guys and invest in a package of these thick stickers:

They probably cost 2cents a piece, but sticking one over the lip of the coffee saves me from spilling it all over myself as I walk down the street.

5. If only I lived in the LA area...

6. When Jeff tried to insult me by saying I could find something at valsmom.com I was reminded of this website I threw together a long long time ago. I had to dig through my old computer to find it, it doesn't all work. But it's kind of hilarious if I do say so myself.

7. Am I the only person in this world who couldn't care less about the Olympics? In case you are wondering though, this is what Michael Phelps eats for breakfast. I usually just have coffee.

8. I was watching a wedding show on TV last night. The guy had found the girl's blog and fell in love with her and pestered her through email until she agreed to meet him. They fell in love and then got married on a TV show. What are the chances of this happening to me?

I am reading the Diary of Anne Frank...

Several times during the book someone comes by the office where they are hiding and comes close to discovering their secret hiding place...

While reading this I seriously feel like I know exactly what is coming next...

Obviously, thinks Val, this person is going to stumble in to their secret annex, then the family will have to kill them and feast off the body...

...

I so could have written a better story than Anne...

It's funny when three people all have the same memory and it turns out to be wrong.

For probably twenty now I've been searching for a book. It was one of those things that was published well before I was born and was read to my two sisters and finally to me. I had a vague idea that it was a Golden Book (because, really, what children's book wasn't a Golden Book?) I had a vague recollection of what the child in the book looked like. I remembered one line "Ouch, you naughty lion. You mustn't bite."

I don't know why this line stuck with me my whole life. But I for some reason always wanted to find this book again. I'd flip through children's books at used book stores and search online for the line but could never ever find it.

About a month or so ago I searched online again for the phrase and this time came up with two websites. One was mine because I had mentioned this once before. The other was an answer man website where he helps people find books. Someone else was looking for this exact same phrase. The suggestion he gave was, of course, wrong. The book was too new and too many pages. I could tell just by looking at the cover. A few days later I found out who it was who was searching for the phrase: my sister Jen.

Turns out that all three of us, at one point or another, had been searching for this book. So I made it my mission to find it. Selfishly I think I just wanted to be the hero, the smart one, the one who could finally figure out this mystery.

While searching through titles and pictures of Golden Books, I started thinking that it could be one of these prayer books I kept seeing. The girl on the cover looked awfully familiar. But it couldn't be a prayer book because a) I was never in any way religious and b) why would a prayer book contain a girl with a stuffed lion in her crib? But it got me thinking that maybe that was the clue, maybe whoever drew those prayers also drew my stuffed lion.

So I found the illustrators name and started looking up her books and then started googling her name with descriptive phrases and parts on my line until I found one mention of the line, slightly different then the way I remembered it, with a book title.

I went to Alibris and ordered it (which, by the way, is the most awesome site ever for any book you can ever remember having). I chose to order the $15 copy that was torn up a bit over the $40 one in better condition.

A few days later it arrived and I paged through it until I came to the page. And there was my line, only slightly different than I remembered it. And there was that little girl with a little lion in her little crib.

"Ouch! Naughty Lion, you mustn't bite!

What caught me the most about it was that all three of us had been placing an extra "you" between "ouch" and "naughty" that apparently never appeared in that book.

Strange.

But now I can at least stop searching.

What's the funniest thing ever? When one of the most brilliant minds of modern American humor goes for the cheap joke.

"If pocketbook means vagina, what happens when your pocketbook gets snatched?"

***

Anyways...Last night Em and I went to see "An Intimate Evening with David Sedaris" over at Steppenwolf. I picked up the tickets a few months back because I really wanted to see it. I think I managed to score the very last pair available. I've been taking a buy now ask later approach lately, where if I see something I want to see I just grab the tickets and hope someone will go with me. Luckily Emily took me up on it.

Before the show we stopped off at a little Italian place across the street, Mangia Roma because it was raining outside and this pace was close. I thought it was closed because it was dark and empty and I didn't see any staff but the sign said "open" so we went in. Turns out it was just dark and empty. I ordered a drink they dubbed the "Leaning Tower" which was Bacardi, pina colada, and grenadine. Basically if I sipped from the top it was all rum and if I sipped through the cocktail straw it was all grenadine. There was pina colada mix floating in the middle that you couldn't drink through either technique. The salad was really good with this somewhat spicy basil vinaigrette and they gave us some really buttery focaccia. For dinner I had gnocchi with mushrooms and clams ending my year and a half avoidance on all things clam (see: food poisoning in Florence). It was tasty and spicy, but much more expensive than I had anticipated.

After dinner we crossed the street to the theatre and headed to the upstairs venue. The show itself was awesome. David Sedaris is an amazing writer who is probably one of the few authors who is even better in book on tape form. I've never seen him live before so it was a treat to listen to him perform. He started out with the aforementioned joke because the producer who introduced him had been talking about the next Traffic Series production, the Pocketbook Monologues and had said that "pocketbook" means "vagina." He then went on to read a new piece he's working on for his upcoming book. The story was about an old neighbor he used to have and their relationship.

I was expecting for him to read shorter pieces, but this one was rather long, but it was so incredibly intriguing and interwove together so seemlessly. After reading he explained that it was something that he was still working on for his book. He went into a spiel about how Wal-Mart wanted him to change the cover (a skull with a cigarette in its mouth) because they thought it was depressing. Sedaris said that he thinks Wal-Mart is depressing. I agree. He then said that it looked like a book he would want to read. "Say there are four books in front of me. This one has Jesus on the cover. This one has Jesus on the cover. This one has a pony on the cover. And this one has a smoking skull on the cover. I'm going to pick up the smoking skull." He said that he named his last book "Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim" as such because his boyfriend Hugh had a dream where someone was reading a book by that title and Sedaris 'wanted to make his dream come true." He really was as interesting and entertaining just talking as he was reading his work.

Then he read parts of a second essay about fashion, parts about glasses and why he would rather just squint ("If something is more than 6 feet away, I'll just deal with it when I get there.") and bow ties (and how he came to realize they were for impotent men).

After that he fielded questions about his writing process and said that when he is stuck for writing he takes out high school text books and does the homework assignments in them.

Since I first heard/read Sedaris I loved his work, and I'm really happy that I got the chance to see him read. It was a great evening. My only complaint was that he really only read one and a half essays. Granted the full one he read was a longer piece (he said to someone later that he normally reads a few shorter pieces, but wanted to do this one since he is working on the book) was amazing, but I wanted more.

The thing I think I liked most about him was when he couldn't hold back laughing at his own humor. It's one of those things you're not supposed to do when performing, so it made him seem more like a regular person. There were a few moments when reading when he just smiled and tried to stop but you could tell he was chuckling at what he wrote.

Emily took off after the show, but I waited around and bought one of his books that I didn't own to get it signed. I'm really surprised at how many people left right afterwards. When I got up to see him the first question he asked me was "Who did you come with?" Hilarity ensued:

David Sedaris: Who did you come with?
Val: A friend of mine, but she had to leave.
David Sedaris: How are you getting home then?
Val: The train.
David Sedaris: Are you in high school?
Val: Ummm....no...I'm....
David Sedaris: How old are you? You look like you're 15.
Val: 27.
David Sedaris: Oh, I guess it's OK that she left you here then.

He then said that when my friend wants me to go see David Copperfield with her and she wants to wait afterwards that I should leave. He then drew a picture of me vomiting because that's what he does on people who ditch him.

On my way to the Printer's Row Book Fair, I pondered why anyone would walk on the street when if they took about 10 steps to the east they could walk through the park. I also figured everyone thought I was a tourist because, as always, I was snapping pictures of everything. (Seriously, I was taking a photo of the bridge and this Asian dude asked if I wanted him to take my pic in front of it...I should have taken him up on the offer...and given a peace sign.)

I trudged through Millennium and doused myself in water from the fountain and went and took pics of the bean (note: this will not count as me 'going to Millennium park' because I have seen the things I saw before and didn't go see all of it). I don't care what anyone says, those are two of the damn coolest things in the world!

Anyways, I finally trudged my way to Printer's Row. I checked out the books in desperate search for an oldie that may have been a goldenbook with the phrase "ouch you naughty lion, you mustn't bite" in it. No luck. If anyone knows the title of said book, please tell me. While wondering I started to hear some really good music. It sounded all pop-punk and then I saw the band and they were all kinda hot...and then I realized that they were the "Not Ready for Naptime Players." Would it be wrong to become a groupie for a kiddie-song group???

12:30 came and it was time for the panel I came to see, which included Michele Morano (my fav professor, who wrote an awesome collection of essays about Spain and language called "Grammar Lessons" Go buy it and read it), Brian Bouldrey (who wrote a very interesting sounding book - yet to be released - called "Honorable Bandit: A Walk Across Corsica") and Tony and Maureen Wheeler (Professional travelers and founders of the Lonely Planet travel mecca). It was very interesting to hear them all speak about their books, their writing, and their lives. I felt kind of bad though because all of the audience questions were for Lonely Planet, so the others didn't really get to talk much. I brought along my copy of Grammar Lessons to get signed and picked up a copy of Unlikely Destinations for them to sign.

Then I headed over to see Dan and Steve, who own a catering company in Chicago and were, as they put it, "The Kelly Clarksons of Next Food Network Star." They made a yummy looking duck sausage cassoulet (fake duck sausage actually, they used chicken instead), but I don't like sausage. Then they made a bread pudding. Yum.

THE COOLEST PART OF THEIR TALK: They are opening a new restaurant! But not just any restaurant...it's going to have a tv studio in it. Then what they're going to do, is have little cooking demonstrations...and then have you come up and film you giving the cooking demonstration!!! It's my dream since whenever I cook I talk to the fake cameras anyways. I'm sure it will be hella expensive...but I definitely plan on having a b-day party there!

After that I headed off to another panel with Amy Hempel (who writes amazing short stories) and a couple of others who sounded interesting. I'll have to check out their stuff. What I found most interesting is when Hempel was talking about her writing process, and that sometimes after writing something big, she won't write anything at all for a year or more. It's kind of comforting because I always hear writers saying how they "need to write" and it's good to hear someone who loves it and is successful at it and passionate for it, but doesn't feel like she is compelled to write constantly .

So, I have tons of pics of the day (nothing from the travel or short story talks though, I didn't want to be interruptive at all), check 'em out!

Out of the dullness, one thought arose. [He] did not love her and never really loved her and the knowledge did not hurt. It should hurt. She should be desolate, broken hearted, ready to scream at fate. She had relied upon his love for so long. It had upheld her through so many dark places. Yet, there the truth was. He did not love her and she did not care. She did not care because she did not love him. She did not love him and so nothing he could do or say could hurt her.

---

Do you ever get an email from a store or a company that you signed up from a list for? Does that email ever have a glaring mistake in it or a link doesn't work or an image doesn't work? Do you then think, Jeeze this is a professional company shouldn't they produce something better? Well, stop it! Sometimes someone send out an email to 50,000 people that has a wrong phone number and then has to spend the next three hours frantically trying to send a new corrected one even though she is in a meeting and has no clue how to pull a new list and the person who pulls mailing lists isn't there. :(

Did I mention I had a bad day yesterday?

When I got home from work I read something that I probably shouldn't have read. Why is it that a guy can treat one girl like shit and then turn around and be a completely different person to someone else?

I spent my night in bed with pizza and a DVD of Gone with the Wind that cost $4.50 to rent. You can buy 20 good horror films for that price. The movie was 4 hours long and pissed me off because I kept imagining one of the characters looking more like Benjamin Mackenzie and in the film he looked like a skinny prissy rat. I guess I shouldn't imagine Civil War novels as being played by the cast of the O.C.

1. 24 finally started being a good show. They got a love story, it's all I ask for!!! Love not war! Kissing not bombs!

2. Tonight Nad and I went to pick up my bridesmaids dress (it now fits perfectly so i will be the perfect hot single bridesmaid!) I told her that i want to do my hair like this for the wedding:

I think she's OK with it...as long as I don't wear a headband.

3.faeriewingtips: wtf? my computer just told me "a running program is incompatible with your color scheme"
Glitterbot: okaaaaaay?
Glitterbot: apparently, even you comp thinks that pink is too much

4. Chris Sligh was voted off tonight. He was my early favorite but I haven't liked him lately. His singing went downhill, he got way too full of himself, and he stopped being funny. Go Dolittle!

5. You know what sucks??? When you spend over a month reading a thousand page book only to get to the end and it be really sad and not happily ever after. :( books make me cry. I guess the ending fit though. Other than that Gone With The Wind was an amazingly good book and probably one of the best I've ever read. I think I am kind of partial though because, sadly, I saw a lot of myself in Scarlett.

Is it a bad sign when...

you are watching an interior design program on TV and know exactly where the designer bought half the stuff in the room?

you are a kind of small person and eat an entire carnitas burrito (and maybe a bag of chips and guacamole too) and you don't even like pork?

you come amazingly close to throwing a remote control at a brand new HDTV when Fox goes out during an American Idol performance?

you are reading a book and it makes you think that maybe slavery wasn't bad?

you are reading the same book, which takes place during the Civil War, and keep wondering who is going to win the war?

Amy Sedaris on gift giving:

"The best presents come from the heart and say something simple: 'I like you.'"

"Some people put very little energy into buying a gift and then use the excuse, 'Well it's the thought that counts'...They're the same people who start their Christmas shopping on Christmas Eve."

"Make you own gift certificates like: 'good for one back massage with full release'"

...

Woohoo! I now know what to get every male I know!

Hehe, obviously kidding (can't give that to everyone) ;-)

So, I officially finished Christmas shopping this morning, and believe it or not this is very late for me. I like to be done by Thanksgiving, this year I didn't even start until after that. :( So, everything is bought, wrapped, and put under my little silver tree. (I hope nobody minds all the hair that got stuck under the tape, I tend to shed.)

So, since pressure is off, if anyone is looking for a person to help out on that last minute shopping I'd love to go along! Hehe.

Oh, and in case you want to buy me something, remember I am a ring size 6...

"First single. Fucking brilliant. Perhaps the most fucking brilliant song ever written. Because they nailed it. That's what everyone wants. Not 24-7 hot wet sex. Not a marriage that last a hundred years. Not a Porsche or a blow job or a million-dollar crib. No. They wanna hold your hand. They have such feeling that they can't hide."
-nick & norah's infinite playlist

I went to Andersen's Bookshop in Naperville to see a reading with Rachel Cohn and David Levithan tonight. I am a huge Rachel Cohn fan (Read Gingerbread and Shrimp) and she's one of my favorite YA authors. That is me and them pictured above. Crappy pic, hehe. And I felt like sucha dork asking for a picture. Oh well, I'm over it. They were promoting their new book Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist, which is totally awesome. It was written one chapter at a time, alternating chapters between them, with Rachel writing from Norah's POV and David from Nick's. It was really interesting to hear them talk about it since they seemed so free in writing because since neither had total control of where it would go (they didn't sit down together and discuss plot or anything ahead of time) so they could just kind of write. They talked about the process and read a little from the book and took questions. I had my copy signed and picture taken and they gave out cool blank cds with a sleeve to make our own infinite playlist on. I have to figure out what to play...