Yesterday I turned 22 (+5). Thanks to everyone who came out to celebrate with me!!! It was definitely a day filled with the three things a woman wants most: chocolate, wine, and naked men!!!

1. Chocolate
In the afternoon Nadia and I met at Chocolate for Your Body. Nad got a regular mani and I splurged on a "chocolate signature". It's my party, I can splurge if I want to!

The manicure involved a cocoa scrub that made my hands nice and soft (and tasty I can assume), truffles (to eat, not for my hands), and coating my hands with a layer of chocolate.

After getting our nails all purdy Nad and I headed next door to Kristoffer's Café and Bakery

for some chocolate flan and coffee. It was a cute place but, let me tell you, I have never before peed in a bathroom that had a urinal in it. Ew.

2. wine
After gussying up our nails and caffinating ourselves, Nad and headed over to Jen's place. In the time it took to walk from the car to her place, walk down the wrong pathway and get locked in the alley, I seriously felt like my hands were going to fall off. Luckily we finally found the way in to thaw off. Then Josh called and apparently the bar lost my reservation for 15. Fuck. Isla came and drove us to the bar and they were working on setting up our table. Thankfully they were still able to accommodate us.

The restaurant we went to was Volo Restaurant and Wine Bar and it was delicious. We had good wine, good food, good friends...

I tried some marrow bones and will never ever eat them again. Honestly, I really think all those chefs pretend they like such things to be all pretentious. But how can anyone like that crap? It had the texture of sandy snot and tasted horrible. On a better note the steak tartar was DEVINE and the duck confit was DEVINE. Josh and I also shared some Seared Yellowtail Tataki, but we still haven't decided what kind of citrus was pickled.

15 people showed up, which was totally awesome. Sarah came and, despite the fact that she hardly knows me, she completely gets me because she gave me a pink sparkly dragonfly and a Victoria's Secret gift card (pink, dragonflies, and VS are three of my very favorite things). Chelsa from work came and brought a friend. Rob and Chris and Aimee showed up despite having to be at a party in Milwaukee later that night. Meredith and Isla and Jen and Alina and Jenny and Adam and Nadia and Josh came too!!! Jen gave me a cute Smurfette tee and a pink candleholder. And Nadia gave me what she described as a "lame" present of a candleholder. It totally wasn't lame! But she said it was my fake present because my real one, a pink Rabbit wine opener, didn't arrive yet...In talking about this some people overheard pink rabbit and assumed it was something else...

Josh showed me what he really thinks of me by getting me a bottle of Bitch wine.

The label is PINK and, well, I am a bitch, so it's only appropriate.

Honestly I did not expect anything from anyone, I was just happy people came out during the zero degree weather!!!

My wine was yummy too. I was bad and ordered whites then proceeded to order a lot of red meat. But ohwellz. I had a lovely white wine flight. Then I had a Gewurtztraminer. Later I also had a yummy muscado d'asti.

They brought me a yummyyummy flourless chocolate cake with mint ice cream and everyone sang and I got to make a wish on my candle, which is always my favorite part, because I wish on just about everything you can wish on.

3. naked men
After the wine bar I bid adieu to a few of my female friends and all of the few guys left and the remaining chicas headed to Annoyance Theatre. We hung out at the bar there and played the game of Memory that I found on the shelf. Did I ever mention how much I suck at Memory? Ask me exactly what a certain person said to me at a certain time and I can probably repeat our conversation word for word. Ask me to remember where the little black boy is and I go blank.

After a couple rousing rounds we headed into the theatre for SKINPROV and the perfect night of entertainment to get your mind off of the fact that your best guy friends all ditched you for another party and none of them even bothered to call to wish you a happy birthday. But who cares about that when you've got drinks and half-naked men!!!

We beat the rest of the crowd into the theatre for prime first row seatage. The show was basically a bunch of men improving scenes and taking off all their clothes. They ended the first scene by all taking off their shirts. A couple short scenes later they paired up for small scenes that each ended with "Let's take off our pants." By the end of the show (and some taking off multiple pairs of underwear) we were left with g-stringed and jock-strapped men and a whole lotta nakedmanass.

After the show we headed back out to the annoyance bar to talk with the guys, still walking around shirtless. They got me a couple of shots and I ended up having both a buttery nipple and a pussy shot on them. The one naked man told us that he'd sucked more cock than anyone else there...and then introduced us to his lovely girlfriend.

We stuck around until they closed, drank some drinks, chatted up the bartenders, then headed off to Uptown Lounge...mostly because it was just around the corner and fucking freezing.

The bar definitely wasn't my cup of tea. Mostly because I hate talking to people I have absolutely no interest in. And because every three minutes the waitress came up and asked us if we needed anything else. We stayed out till about 4:30, well past the text message the guys sent to say their party was over.

All in all my party was totally awesome and I am so happy that everyone came who did! I have tons of amazing friends and I am glad they came out to share my night of turning 22+5!!!

INCRIMINATING PICTURES HERE!

Posted by valry at 9:23 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Last night I went to Caribou to meet with my financial advisor. He wanted to go over my investments and I wanted help setting up my 401(k). I determined last night that I have the worst financial advisor ever. Yeah, so this is what transpired...

1. He was twenty minutes late.


2. He tried to pass off 2% as skim.


3. He ate food that fell on the floor.


4. He forgot to bring my file, so we couldn't even discuss finances.


5. He screwed up my 401(k) form because doesn't read directions.


6. He played with a toy car all night.


7. He criticized my clothing choices and said that none of my colors matched.


8. Finally, he invited me back to his bedroom because he wanted to "show me something."

Posted by valry at 9:19 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)

1. Please do not say that you're not really that picky about what you are looking for in a person you'd date when you do not want to date the person you are talking to.



2. Why does everything go wrong at 4:59? At approximately 4:59 on Monday our website crashed. Turned out to be a blown power circuit at the hosting facility. This meant I stayed at work until after six when it went back up. I actually don't mind the staying late...I honestly didn't want to leave if I knew there was a problem. That felt good to know I do care so much. What I hated was that I was helpless and couldn't do anything about it except to wait around for the design company to get it back up. I just hate feeling helpless.

On top of that my plane had landed late and so I didn't get to bed until 3am the night before, I forgot to bring my key/bathroom key so avoided coffee/coke/my intense caffeine addiction all day so as to not have to bother anyone for a bathroom key and be let back into the office, and when I finally broke down to get a Coke at 5:45, the machine ate my dollar. Needless to say I was tired and grumpy at this point.

During this time MattyK asked me to go get financial coffee, but I asked him if it would be OK to just go get friend coffee. I know he hates putting aside work time for play time, but I was in a bad mood and just wanted to chillax and talk. Luckily he agreed so we met at Starbucks. I showed him all my Vegas pics and he laughed at the pinkness of my computer (I'd forgotten that he's never actually seen it). It was a good night of just talking and drinking coffee because we haven't really just hung out together in a long long while now and I miss that. Hopefully he'll put aside some work time to chill with me more often :-)

An amusing quote from Matt: Maybe I'm vehicularly gay.



3. a 2am phone conversation
Him: Did you just call?
Me: Yes.
Him: Did you hang up on me?
Me: Yes.
Him: Wait, you know I answered and you hung up on me?
Me: I heard you answer but I was already in the process of closing the phone.
Him: And you didn't call me back?
Me: I didn't want to call you because I don't want to call you too much.
Him: Well, that is good. But this time you actually had something to talk about.



4. Last night I went out with Joshua to the gym. I wore a shirt that said "Official Fan of the World Hamburger Eating Championship" and watched food network (I did debate watching MTV's Return to Fat Camp though) while on the treadmill. I'm what you might call ironic.



5. Microsoft Word is weird. I did a spell check it decided that "Joe came..." was not correct and decided that maybe I meant "Joe camel..."



6. Blake Lewis's album is out! Dare I say that this will be the first American Idol CD I ever purchase??? Heather and I should have a dance party.



7. Humble Bob posted some of my pics. (see also: thoughts and pictures) He rocks!



8. Reason #5,689,890 that I should not be allowed to shop alone: Pink Illini Jersey! p.s. I also found the mecca for pink ties ;-) Just sayin.



9. Despite the fact that I already owned it on DVD from the first time it came out, I bought the new box set of My So Called Life because that show was so quintessentially me. Honestly I don't think I would have ever been so adamant about dying my hair if it wasn't for Angela Chase. But you know you're getting older when you feel more and more sorry for Brian Krakow. Honestly though, I am still searching for my Jordan Catalano.



10. I've posted a few entries over at Silly America. You should read them, and subscribe to the RSS feed!

Posted by valry at 8:22 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

1. Some days you just don't feel like doing anything but getting in your car, grabbing some Starbucks, and driving around with all your windows down. Sometimes it is the only thing that makes your head feel right. And sometimes the weather is the absolute perfect weather for it.

2. So, The Krystal Square Off will not be the first battle of Joey against Kobayashi since the stunning upset at Coney Island...Next Tuesday they will be facing off in a wing battle in Vegas...the pathetic thing is that if it weren't for me bailing on class tonight and for the $400 the ticket would cost, I so was considering going :(

3. Quite possibly the best commercial EVER:

Posted by valry at 10:27 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Dear homeless people,
Please do not beg me to give you money with a Starbucks cup.
McDonald's would be OK.
Love,
Val

***

Dear hotlinkers,
Please do not hotlink images from my site.
It is a shady thing to do.
If you do I will change the photos to this. (nsfw)
Love,
Val

p.s. that image is used when I am being nice.
p.p.s. No Rob, I do not want to see worse pictures I could use.

***

Speaking of Starbucks...girl just gave me a pumpkin latte with no espresso in it. It's just warm pumpkin milk. :(

Posted by valry at 8:22 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Nad and I went to lunch today. While she was waiting for me to get there she browsed the bookstore and bought me the most awesome book I've ever seen: "How To Survive A Horror Movie." Basically, it's a guide for everything you need to know if you somehow find yourself trapped in a horror movie...with chapters such as "What to do if an evil vehicle wants you dead" "how to tell if you've been dead since the beginning of the movie" and "what to do if your corn has children in it." I can't wait to read it and get uber prepared...just in case. I have awesome friends who know me so well :)

A phone conversation with mattyk the other day...

Matt: I was wondering when you want to give me all your money?
Me: You call me for the first time in three months and it's just because you want my business?

Me: I have an extra ticket for Barenaked Lads Take Off Broadway this Friday, wanna go?
Matt: Let me check my calendar.
Me: Umm, did you hear what I said?
Matt: No. WHat are you seeing?
Me: It's a bunch of naked men singing.
Matt: I'll pass.
Me: So not only do you only talk to me when you want my business, but then you don't even pay attention to what I say?

Since he takes everyone else out to dinner, and tried to pass off office coffee on me, I demanded premium coffee. So we went to Caribou. I feel like Starbucks is going to feel forsaken. :(

I again had a campfire mocha because everything is better with marshmallows, and mk let me eat some of his cake...with frosting. mmm He thinks I'm weird when I smell his briefcase. And also that I slip notes into it when he leaves to go buy me coffee. It doesn't smell like anything though. He told me I should buy lots of cars with my money...or something like that. He also promised I'd be a millionaire in just six short months...or something like that. I told him I would make him not be so serious...and I think I well succeeded. He would not talk to me solely through a moose. :( He would relate things in terms I understand such as pumpkin pie and owning parts of JoeJoe. He gave me a quiz that I think was meant to show me my dream date. Then he stole my soul...or something like that.

Posted by valry at 12:42 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

About 200 years ago in a far off high school in zootown U.S.A. a girl named Val knew a boy named Charlie. And then the girl graduated and never saw the boy again. About 200 years later in the mystical world called "the internet" the girl once again found her friend and they headed off to drink magical concoctions in the land of the moose...

Or something like that.

So I friended my old friend CharlieD on facebook and tonight we went to get coffee at Caribou (despite not going to Caribou in forever, I have somehow managed to make plans two nights in a row there...) First off, he has phenomenal hair. Second off, he is a supercool artist with some seriously amazing ideas.

We talked about our last eight years and our motivations and lack of motivations and projects and other people's odd internet projects and work and cameras and travel and I think I am boring because I don't have as interesting of things to talk about.

And it was fun and I was happy that we got back in touch :)

So, to commemorate this occasion, I'm now going to bring you back to my senior year of high school and my homecoming dance, which I attended with Charlie as my date.

CLICK HERE FOR MORE PICS!!! (I was lazy and scanned the pages of my scrapbook instead of doing the pics individually.)

Some notes about these pics...
1. Notice my shoes? Bedroom slippers.
2. I don't talk to almost anyone in these pics anymore.
3. The only thing I really remember from the night is that Charlie gave me a rose instead of a corsage...and then kept apologizing. But I much preferred the rose because corsages were itchy and always fell apart while I danced. Also, I guarantee that I still have this flower in my jar :)

Posted by valry at 12:15 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

So...it's been a cwazy 24 hours.

I got home last night at 2am...to a town that was completely black - all the streetlamps were out. Come home to find that all of the power is completely out. Now, the phone in my room is kind of old. It has a battery backup that is also kind of old (aka never been changed). So, when the power went out and the backup kicked in and didn't have enough juice it just started beeping...a lot...over and over and over and over. So, my room is pitch black, my phone is beeping like crazy, it's 2 in the morning, and all I want is some fucking sleep. So I try to unplug the phone, but the plug is behind my dresser. So I can't reach it. Finally I manage to unplug the plug from the phone...but the phone is still beeping! And then I try to open the battery door...but the battery door won't open. But it loosens it a bit...which causes the beeping to turn into a loud annoying hissing that sounds like a dying cat getting run over repeatedly by an SUV. And it's still pitch black and I can't see anything. But then I find a hammer on my dresser and pound the damn phone with it. Seriously, I took a hammer to my phone in the middle of the night. I came super close to throwing out my window too. But that did shit, damn resiliant phone. So then I finally manage to open the battery door and get the battery door open and so it stops hissing and beeping. And then two minutes later the power comes back on.

Today was the Inline Insomniacs Summer Chicago Skate. I drove over to JoeJoes first to grab lunch and skate over with him.I had to make Joe park my car for me. A couple walking by was laughing because they thought I was standing on the curb to help him park, but I don't think they realized that more pathetically he had to park it for me because I can't park on the left side.

We grabbed some Cosi and it took forever and a day to get our salads. Seriously people, it's a salad. It shouldn't take fifteen minutes to toss some lettuce in a bowl.

Then we skated the four miles along the lakefront to the Sears Tower...Well, Joe and his bro skated...I kind of hobbled. My skates were being bitches and totally giving me no support. It was so bad my foot was basically bent and on it's side. Not fun. It was horribly painful and I could hardly skate. So, alas, by the time we got to the II meeting point, I had to take off my skates and leave (I was really looking forward to it, but there was NO WAY I wold have lasted the next seven hours in those devil shoes). :(

So I paid my respects to the fellow insomniacs and instead trudged off to Nadia's who lives like three blocks away.

We then spent the next four hours chatting in her super-cute condo where I was force fed pizza, koolaid, and grapes. And then Bryan came home and tried to force feed me ice cream and tell me all of the stuff Nadia already told me.

Apparently all of Bryan's friends who saw me at the wedding want to date me. They all also think I look like Kirsten Dunst :)

Nadia said I could move into their spare bedroom. I looked at Bryan and said "Congratulations! It's a girl!"

Then we headed to the burbs to go to Kona Grill with Adad and Jen. My macadamia-nut crusted chicken breast was delicious. It came with not one, but TWO sauces. And cheddar mashed potatoes. Yummy. I ate every drop of chicken. Their lack of a blender for drinks dissapointed me though. Oh well.

Jenny broke the bathroom and Adam and her said I could come live in their guest bedroom. So now I have two sleeping rooms all for moi :)

Then we, of course, ended up in the LaGrange Starbucks where, of course, we saw a couple cop cars hassle some fighting kids (I have never been to that Starbucks at night and not seen a cop car out taking care of business).

Then Nadia had to drive me from there, which was about 2 minutes from my house to Lincoln Park, which is about a half hour away so I could pick up my car so I could drive right back :( At least I remembered where I parked though :)

Posted by valry at 1:42 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

1. I always knew he'd be the perfect boyfriend:

2. Wednesday I went for coffee with MK and his friend Dan, but I had a milkshake and it was damn yummy. We then went back to Matt's for Top Gear and I made him play the episode where they go to America and show how horrible of a country we are :) At one point they have a challenge to drive through Alabama without getting arrested or shot...and at the same time try to get the other guys arrested or shot...and they did so by painting things such as "Nascar Sucks" and "Vote for Hillary" and "Man Love Rules OK" on each others cars. Yeah...they were almost killed...
Since I had to follow MK and Dan back, they kept trying to throw me off by constantly switching lanes and turning on the turn signal and switching places with each other Chinese firedrill style. It was funny. :) And, since it was a *warm* 35 degrees I put down all my windows and sang because the shuffle Q101 was playing had a bunch of my fav sing at the top of my lungs songs (when's the last time I ever heard Little Black Backpack on the radio???)

3. Today my department had our Christmas party. Yup. We got some yummy tapas (I had some muchrooms stuffed with duck and topped with cheese amongst other dishes).

4. I am currently signed up for 2 classes next quarter and can't decide between them. Now, I could take both of them and be done with my masters by June...but I don't really want to devote that much time to class while working full time plus hopefully there will be something I really really want to take next quarter. My choice is between technical writing and text and image. I probably should take tech writing, but it meets on Mondays so I will no longer be able to attend any 24 things. But then again, text and image is on Wednesdays so I will be in class when they announce who gets kicked off of American Idol. Decisions, decisions... Opinions on what sounds better???

Posted by valry at 9:19 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

1. I think I get to walk down the aisle at Nad's wedding with a guy who has a mohawk!!!! With my tattoo and his hair, that will be one priceless picture.

2. Some bitter woman just started talking to us at Starbucks last night. According to her, all men are jerks and if you don't get married young it's hopeless. Great...

3. To the annonymous person who searched my site last night: I don't know whether to be flattered or creeped out, but I will choose to be flattered and assume that you were reaching out with compassion. If that is the case, then thank you, it made me smile and made me feel good to know someone cares...even if I have no clue who you are.(that said, who are you???)

Posted by valry at 9:32 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)

At lunch today I found out the most depressing news I've ever heard. The love of my life, the man I hoped to spend my entire life with, the man I've been pursuing for the last six years...is getting married. :( He said that if I had gone to lunch with him yesterday, it might have been me. :( anyways, congratulations joejoe and alina! despite the fact that it's been my lifes mission to break them up, i do truly love them together and couldn't be happier for them. I guess I have to oficially move on from Joe :( But, then again, they're not married yet ;-)

oops...I meant to post this:

:)

Nad and I went to Sigara tonight and so I officially have four things checked off my list. I had a yummy
Raspberry stoli and 7up and we shared a "Serenity Now" (Jasmine and mint) hookah and a cheese plate. The hookah was really good and smooth and not as strong as I thought it would be. A lot of the time I didn't even know I'd gotten anything until I was actually blowing out the smoke :) The vibe of the place was really cool, we sat on pillows around a little table and there was a belly dancer going around. I will definitely go again :)

Highlights:
- hookah condoms
- discussing what it would take for jenny and I to get in a fist fight at Nadia's wedding.
- remembering the one "fight" Nad and I ever got in :)
- "When are you and "..." geting married?" (I love Bryan)
- Bryan "what's a fig?" Nadia "It's what they put inside of a fig newton"

I had a demitasse of Turkish coffee, which is amazing if you don't mind the texture. I don't normally like black coffee, but this is thicker so you don't need the cream. When I finished I read my grounds (even though you're technically not supposed to read your own) and saw:
- a duck, which means I have money coming in.
- mushrooms, which means a journey is coming.

I really hope both are true.
I need to buy myself an Ibrik.

Posted by valry at 1:31 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

1. More things you have googled:
valerie bromann loves joejoe
valerie bromann pie

2. A kind of funny video from work:

3. My night out:
Nad and I felt like having a quiet night so we headed out to Starbucks where we sat and talked until they kicked us out. We have decided we need to open a house flipping house staging catering food styling company. Or some combination of such :) Nadia is pissed at lemons in commercials. I also got my bridesmaids dress! hope it fits!

5. Random begging
Starbucks has sooooo many cute cups and everything in light blues and pinks. So, you know, if you're looking for something to bestow upon me next Friday, you know where to go ;-)

Posted by valry at 12:17 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

1. Wednesday I made MK come pick me up to go out for coffee so I could wallow about my car. It was really NICE of him to do so, so I was NICE in return and bought him his coffee even though I always go to see him and he never comes by me. Did my attempt at being NICE to him on here work?

2. I went Christmas shopping this weekend and am almost done.

3. While Christmas shopping I ended up buying way too much for myself. I bought a new coat because a) I am having a bad week because of my car (did I mention I had to go with my dad everywhere because I don't have a car right now???) and b) I wanted something warmer than what I have. I bought one of those down puffyish coats that goes down to the knees and has fur around the collar. It wasn't until I got it home that I realized that the fur is real raccoon.

4. I haven't done much else because I do not have a car. :( It really pisses me off because it was in no way my fault and the drunk driver who hit my car has been driving around all week and I am forced to sit at home doing nothing. The insurance company is looking at the car tomorrow.

5. Question of the day: Do you think the thuggish black back-up dancers for Weird Al hate their lives?

Posted by valry at 11:25 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)