1.
karma is a fucking bitch. how do i turn mine around? I seriously fucked mine up somewhere along the way.

2.
I want to be these guys. 12 male wedding photographers taking a bus road trip together? And their blogience (I totally just made up that word) gets to take a poll and choose what they do each day? It's awesome. I want to do this. I don't think a bus full of women would have the same results.
But in any case I am seriously addicted to this website.

3.
I was watching the Simpsons and wasn't sure if the weird lady talking was part of the episode or if I had accidentally turned it on audio transcribe. Turns out I had accidentally turned on audio transcribe (where a voice describes everything that is happening for blind people...I wonder if blind people would know the Simpsons is a cartoon?). And from now on I am only watching it that way. When a lady in a normal voice says "Homer shakes the bicycle out of his butt" it makes the episode ten-times funnier.

4.
I am in no way into Star Wars...but I kind of want to take light sabor combat lessons.

5.
I watched From Russia with Love, but Bond movies aren't as fun to watch when you are by yourself. I didn't really pay attention to any of it. Seriously, someone has to watch all of these with me.

6.
I have decided I need an iphone. I used to say that it seemed like it was good for everything but the phone part. But I am afraid of talking on phones so I guess that doesn't matter.
(Really though, anyone who has one is the reception on it good? The reason I hate talking on phones is because I am deaf and have trouble hearing what people say.)
My real reasoning for the iphone is so that I can blog from anywhere. The world doesn't want that.

7.
I kind of really want to eat this.

8.
It is snowing. I wish it was not snowing.

Posted by valry at 10:30 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)

1. "If neurotic is wanting two mutually exclusive things at one and the same time, then I'm neurotic as hell. I'll be flying back and forth between one mutually exclusive thing and another for the rest of my days." Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

2. I came across this picture while searching through my old laptop. I quite like it...well, other than the fact that my socks look kind of dumb. It's from the same photo shoot as the photos at the top of this website. I don't think it's ever been posted, so I choose to post it now.

3. I have been really antsy and aloof and unmotivated at work lately. I came to a realization today that may explain why: I am at about the point in this job where I quit my last job. In a few months, since I have no intentions of quitting this job any time soon, I will have been at this job longer than any job I have ever had. Unless I get fired for being antsy and aloof and unmotivated of course. It's an odd feeling. I hopefully will snap out of it very soon.

4. Dear chain coffee houses. Take a hint from the little guys and invest in a package of these thick stickers:

They probably cost 2cents a piece, but sticking one over the lip of the coffee saves me from spilling it all over myself as I walk down the street.

5. If only I lived in the LA area...

6. When Jeff tried to insult me by saying I could find something at valsmom.com I was reminded of this website I threw together a long long time ago. I had to dig through my old computer to find it, it doesn't all work. But it's kind of hilarious if I do say so myself.

7. Am I the only person in this world who couldn't care less about the Olympics? In case you are wondering though, this is what Michael Phelps eats for breakfast. I usually just have coffee.

8. I was watching a wedding show on TV last night. The guy had found the girl's blog and fell in love with her and pestered her through email until she agreed to meet him. They fell in love and then got married on a TV show. What are the chances of this happening to me?

Posted by valry at 10:14 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

Things that make me happy:

- Planning Road Trips (and that I found at least one crazy friend who wants to drive to Mount Rushmore with me over Labor Day)

- Daydreaming (even though they will never come true)

- That I now may be booked to shoot three weddings.

- Another magazine might be publishing some of my photos.

- When people use my photos and credit me.

- That my favorite competitive eater asked if he could use a photo I took on a t-shirt!

- When the guy at Starbucks gives me my mocha for $2 and includes a free raspberry brownie because there was apparently a coupon for it that I didn't have.

- Free Leinenkugel Lip Balm

- My new Wii :) and my new Guitar Hero :) and my new Wii Fit :)

Things that make me sad:

- Daydreaming (because they will never come true)

- Realizing that if I ever do want to be a wedding photographer I'd have to give up my weekends.

- When people use my photos and don't credit me.

- That I can't figure out how to connect the Wii to the internet and therefore cannot get the competitive eating game. And that Iron Chef America isn't out yet...

- The fact that Robert Irvine lied and therefore was fired from Dinner: Impossible, which was my favorite show but now is horrible with the new host because the new host isn't as much of an ass and therefore the concept doesn't quite work. (I do like the host on Iron Chef (as much as I can like anyone on Iron Chef) just not on this particular show)

- I haven't seen the new Batman yet.

- Melted ice cream.

- Crappy expensive studio apartments (can I afford anything on my own in Chicago?)

Posted by valry at 9:38 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

my locker was always messy so i didn't even find the love note asking me to meet you at the drugstore after class until days later.

I wouldn't have gone anyways because I always assumed it was a joke.

***

Musing from the airport I forgot to blog about:

"Did you leave a banana?" - Lady in the airport bathroom.

Bryan had to bring a whole lot of syringes through airport security and they didn't bat an eye or ask for his doctor's note. But they had to search my bag (twice) and confiscated a bottle of soap. Good to know our airport security has their priorities straight.

"save it for the line at McDonalds"

***

I've had to censor my blog way too much lately to either protect myself or protect others. I'm sick of it. Here's a (not entirely) cryptic blog of random (not entirely) cryptic thoughts to remedy all that.

I sometimes feel so stupid, getting swept away in possibility, and not taking time to think.

I used to cry that he would only want me while drunk. Now this.

I complain that no one wants to date me and then complain when someone does.

I now know how (t)he(y) problably felt.

You shouldn't have to pay.

Girlfriend for the night.

I know you two are dating. I was waiting to see how long it would take for you to tell me.

I don't call because I want you, I call because you're the only one who knows.

I don't think you think I'm over it.

Posted by valry at 12:02 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

Sometimes Jeff gets really drunk on July 4 and drunk dials me in the middle of the night.

Sometimes he then asks two days later what he had said because he doesn't even remember calling.

Sometimes I am an ass and decide that instead of telling him what the message said I'd just post it to my blog. :-)

Recap of the Nathan's Fourth of July Hot-Dog Eating Contest and my trip to New York coming as soon as I wade through the 857 photos I took of a 10 minute competition...

Posted by valry at 5:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

I've noticed something that I find kind of funny.

Whenever one of my friends introduces me to someone, they will introduce me as "Val." Joe did this when introducing me to a coworker at lunch today, MattyK did it the other day when his friend was over to watch Top Gear. It isn't something that bothers me, I just find it funny. Because almost exclusively when I introduce myself I will tell whomever I am meeting that my name is "Valerie," because, well, that is my name.

Joe likened this to the fact that he never introduces himself as Joseph, and I suppose I never introduce him as that or Matt as Matthew. But neither of them go by those names really, I don't think. But I actually go by Valerie. As I said, it is my name. Everyone else just calls me Val :) It doesn't bother me as I will go by both names equally but it is just an observation that I find to be interesting.

I can tell you exactly why I have always gone by Valerie though. It mostly stems from the fact that I have horrible hearing and it is easier to distinguish the three-syllable Valerie from other words than it is to distinguish the one syllable Val. Just like the time Joe's brother told him "Val called" and so Joe called Baehl to return the call. It's too easy to get confused.

Posted by valry at 8:09 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

1. A link for Rob, Alina...
I'm sure everyone wants to combine their favorite movie with their favorite pastime, right? So...
SNAKES ON A SUDOKU!

2. A link for MattyK
Umm, yeah, this is not safe for work. This just really made me think of Matt. Umm, he probably doesn't want to click this link though...
HOW TO FIX A CAR!

Posted by valry at 12:23 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Last night my teacher said that writers are the type of people who think of what they should have said after they left the party. That is 100% me. I often go home and start rewriting conversations in my head (I have a knack sometimes for remembering exactly word for word conversations I've had if they mean something to me, I swear by their accuracy, but I oft wish that these conversations went differently, or that I said what I meant or what I felt, or that I wasn't too afraid to talk). Sometimes years later I am still trying to change what I said but I'm not one of those people who can start believing something that didn't really happen. In my head I can go back and say yes to taking that walk on your birthday, I can tell my guidance counselor in grade school that they were just stories, I could say I like you or I love you or I want you. I can never think of anything to say in the moment.

When I got home from class last night (after, of course, watching taped AI and ANTM) I flipped around and got suckered into a Walk in the Clouds, which is a cheesy sappy movie but made me cry. At one point the guy gave Mandy Moore a star named after her. I've always wanted my own star but it's not the type of thing you buy for yourself, it's the type of thing the cute charming guy in a movie will buy for the awkward sweet girl so she'll fall in love. I looked it up online, and I guess to no real surprise, this whole naming a star thing is all a scam. None of it is official or anything. Basically you're just buying a piece of paper. I will never be a star. This made me cry.

In other news, to all those who celebrate steak and blow job day, someone invented this: Cake and Cunnilingus Day! Let's celebrate!

In other news, Ed Gein's property in Wisconsin is for sale. If I had an extra $250,000 to spare I would so buy it. For those not in the know, Ed Gein is the great American serial killer hero who killed people and made people suits who inspired such films as Psycho and Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Silence of the Lambs. Although MattH was against my wasting my money, he did say I should open a horror museum, as long as he got stock options and free admission.

Posted by valry at 9:41 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

So, yesterday I bartered sexual favors with Rob in exchange for an mp3 of this song:

"Summer Girls"

Yeah...I like it when the girls stop by.. In the summer
Do you remember, Do you remember?
...when we met..That summer??

[Chorus]

New Kids On The block,had a bunch of hits
Chinese food makes me sick.
And I think it's fly when girls stop by for the summer,for the summer
I like girls that wear Abercrombie and Fitch,
I'd take her if I had one wish,
But she's been gone since that summer..
Since that summer

[Verse 1]

Hip Hop Marmalade spic And span,
Met you one summer and it all began
Your the best girl that I ever did see,
The great Larry Bird Jersey 33
When you take a sip you buzz like a hornet
Billy Shakespere wrote a whole bunch of sonnets
Call me Willy Whistle cause I can't speak baby
Sumthin in your eyes went and drove me crazy
Now I can't forget you and it makes me mad,
Left one day and never came back
Stayed all summer then went back home,
Macauly Culkin wasn't Home Alone
Fell deep in love,but now we ain't speakin
Michael J Fox was Alex P Keaton
When I met you I said my name was Rich
You look like a girl from Abercrombie and Fitch

[Chorus]

New Kids On The block,had a bunch of hits
Chinese food makes me sick.
And I think it's fly when girls stop by for the summer,for the summer
I like girls that wear Abercrombie and Fitch,
I'd take her if I had one wish,
But she's been gone since that summer..
Since that summer

[Verse 2]

Cherry Pez,cold crush,rock star boogie
Used to hate school so I had to play hookie,
Always been hip to the B-boY Style
Known to act wild and make girls smile,
Love New Edition and the Candy Girl
Remind me of you because you rock my world
You come from Georgia where the peaches grow
They drink lemonade and speak real slow
You love hip hop and rock n roll
Dad took off when you were 4 years old
There was a good man named Paul Revere
I feel much better baby when you're near
You love fun dip and cherry Coke,
I like the way you laugh when I tell a joke
When I met you I said my name was Rich
You look like a girl from Abercrombie and Fitch

[Repeat Chorus]

Bridge In the summertime girls got it goin on,
Shake and wiggle to a hip hop song
Summertime girls are the kind I like,
I'll steal your honey like I stole your bike

[Verse 3]

Bugaloo shrimp and pogo sticks
My mind takes me back there oh so quick
Let you off the hook like my man Mr. Limpet
Think about that summer and I bug,cause I miss it
Like the color purple,macaroni and cheese,
Ruby red slippers and a bunch of trees
Call you up but whats the use
I like Kevin Bacon,but I hate Footloose
Came in the door I said it before,I think I'm over you
but I'm really not sure
When I met you I said my name was Rich
You look like a girl from Abercrombie and Fitch
repeat Chorus

[Bridge]

In the summer girls come and summer girls go
Some are worth while and some are so so,
Summer girls come and summer girls go
Some are worth while and some are so so,
Summertime girls got it goin on
Shake and wiggle to a hip hop song
Summertime girls are the kind I like
I'll steal your honey like I stole your bike

[Repeat Chorus]

Yes. So, I'm officially pathetic.
I got the song, he gets to touch my boob next time I see him. Hehe.
He originally requested naked pics so I sent him this one:

Naked Pic!

Today I had one of these:

Coca-Cola Blak. It's a combination of my two favorite drinks: Coke and Coffee. I'm still not sure if it tasted good or bad. I'll get back to you.

Oh, and next week on American Idol they are performing the songs of Queen. wtf?

Posted by valry at 11:27 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)