none of you will ever understand how brilliant of a moment this was. Damn you all for not embracing the horribleness of reality tv...

May I present Paula Abdul's critique of Jason singing...after he'd sang his first song of the night...

Posted by valry at 12:24 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

1. Laura Bush doesn't blink. This bothers me greatly.

2. AI spoiler: Carly is gone! A dreadlocked dude who sang Memory and didn't realize it was originally sung by a cat and a crying girl who screwed up her song, was the only person in the history of the show to ask to start over, and then still sang badly are BOTH SAFE. That results show totally redeemed the season.

3. I've been having oddish dreams lately. I think it has to do with sleeping pantsless with the windows open.

4. Speaking of odd dreams I had a dream last night that I went to Amsterdam and at the end of the week realized I had done nothing there, and then my plane home nearly crashed twice. Do you think that's a sign?

5. I went to Billy Goats for the first time ever (b/c they have cheese sammiches) and they had fries. I was disappointed in that.

6. OMG!!!

7. OMG²

8. Everything's gone by the time I want it.

9. Everything I touch turns to pink. I just looked at my earphone buds and they are now pink instead of the original white. For serious. (actually, this probably has more to do with the fact that they've been resting in a box of fruit tea...but I like my theory better :-) )

Posted by valry at 6:11 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

The Downers Grove police called me yesterday. Apparently someone with my license plate number shot at a postman.

Luckily (and not surprisingly) it was not me. It was a gray SUV (I have a black Sedan)...and I did not leave my house at all that day...and I am not a dude.

***

Sometimes you're driving home at 1:30 in the morning and your favorite song ever comes on the radio so you turn up the volume and open all the windows in 42 degree weather and drive 2 extra exits on the highway before turning around.

***

I invented a new flavor sensation the other day when I ate a potato chip that had been sitting in a box of tea for a week.

***

Thoughts on 24 Season 2

- The plot is exactly the same as Season 6.
- How does Kim keep her hair so perfect after all she's been through.
- When they bring someone back in episode 23 after I have not seen them since episode 4, I get very confused and don't remember who they are.
- Please don't show close-ups of a dying moaning man on the ground with Jack over him...it looks like they're having an intimate moment.

Posted by valry at 10:40 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

1. flower.

2. danny is gone. i miss him already :-(
Idol is gonna suck now.

Posted by valry at 7:58 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Last night.

I did something.

I have never, ever, ever done before.

Not in over six years.

Last night.

I voted.

On American Idol.

I know, I know. How can someone who has never missed a single episode (seriously) of the show have never voted on it? Well, honestly, I don't really give a damn.

But...

This dude.

Is too spectacularly awesome to see go.

Posted by valry at 5:56 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

1. Sometimes a certain special someone calls you nearly two years after the last time and the first time you heard their voice. Just because they want to make sure you don't sound like you're on Jerry Springer. And sometimes that kind of makes your day.

2. True story. I woke up on Emily's couch Sunday morning. I realized that my nose stud was missing. I looked around and couldn't find it in the couch cushions. No biggie. I usually don't sleep with it in as it has the tendancy to fall out and they are super cheap so whatever. An hour later while waiting for the bus I start feeling something in the back of my throat. So I try to hack up and end up spitting out my nose stud. I am guessing it came loose in the night and I sucked it in through my nose and then eventually migrated to my throat. Next time I cough I am hoping to find a diamond ring.

3. Last night was Italian food and Italian opera with Jen. We headed over to Italian Village where I got some yummy seafood ravioli and Reisling and then headed to the Opera! We went to the Barber of Seville which was freaking awesome. The Magritte-inspired sets were amazing. The staging was amazing. Shirtless Nathan Gunn singing Figaro!? Amazing. It was a pretty damn funny opera. If you have never seen it, this video basically sums it up:

4. I want to go to a baseball game here. Seriously, I'd spend $40 a ticket if it meant all I could eat ballpark food!

5. Robert Irvine, star of one of my favorite TV shows was canned for lying on his resume. :( Hopefully they will find a good replacement because "Dinner: Impossible" is one of my favorite shows ever.

6. Jeff did a very good job at finding me a cheap second laptop for traveling :) He knows me so well.

Posted by valry at 1:13 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

1. Yesterday my boss sent me home early because I think he thought I was dying. My cough was pretty terrible. I was supposed to go to see Falstaff with Emily but I cancelled because not only did I feel lousy but felt that whoever was sitting enxt to me who'd have actually paid upwards of $150 to see the opera probably wouldn't be too happy with me coughing int heir ears for three hours.

2. I stayed home sick today and spent the day watching the first 8 episodes of 24. I started at 9:15 and finished them by 3:15. I really can't take Dennis Haysbert as president because no matter what he says I translate it to "blah blah blah switch to Allstate." Now I am attempting to finish the last six episodes of Joan of Arcadia before bedtime (with, of course, a break for American Idol). After "commercial breaks" joan of arcadia doesn't tell you how much time is left in the episode like 24 does. That annoys me.

3. Cheer me up by leaving me a Valentine's message.

Valentine Postbox

leave valry a valentine's message your message, (30 characters or less) get your own valentine postbox

Posted by valry at 4:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

So at the wedding, Jeff pointed out that he thought Glen looked like the dude from Ace of Cakes. Personally, that's all I think of when I watch that show, so it was kinda awesome to find someone who thought the same without any prompting. Of course, all y'all know what that means, right?!?!?!

Photo comparison time!

Which one is Glen and which on is Ace of Cakes's Geoff????

Posted by valry at 11:10 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)

1. After about 6 months...
The mutual funds from my financial advisor have made me $177.86
The savings account I set up with HALF AS MUCH MONEY IN IT has made me $251.63 in that time.
:'(

2. Did I mention I gave my financial planner both a kickass car and a kickass tie for Christmas and all I got were 2 promotional pocket calendars?

3. I was frustrated while looking for a pair of jeans today. I kept looking for my size and all I saw was 25, 27, 28...and kept thinking jeez, I'm a 4, why are there only racks for big people? It was only much much later that it snapped that those were waist sizes...when did they start switching to those???

4. Greatest quote in American Idol history:
"Simon didn't go down on me too hard.
Simon goes down on everyone."
All in all so far this season is better than last year. Last year they showed way too many bad people and no good people. It's about 19 good to 29 bad thus far.

Posted by valry at 11:29 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

1. Please do not say that you're not really that picky about what you are looking for in a person you'd date when you do not want to date the person you are talking to.



2. Why does everything go wrong at 4:59? At approximately 4:59 on Monday our website crashed. Turned out to be a blown power circuit at the hosting facility. This meant I stayed at work until after six when it went back up. I actually don't mind the staying late...I honestly didn't want to leave if I knew there was a problem. That felt good to know I do care so much. What I hated was that I was helpless and couldn't do anything about it except to wait around for the design company to get it back up. I just hate feeling helpless.

On top of that my plane had landed late and so I didn't get to bed until 3am the night before, I forgot to bring my key/bathroom key so avoided coffee/coke/my intense caffeine addiction all day so as to not have to bother anyone for a bathroom key and be let back into the office, and when I finally broke down to get a Coke at 5:45, the machine ate my dollar. Needless to say I was tired and grumpy at this point.

During this time MattyK asked me to go get financial coffee, but I asked him if it would be OK to just go get friend coffee. I know he hates putting aside work time for play time, but I was in a bad mood and just wanted to chillax and talk. Luckily he agreed so we met at Starbucks. I showed him all my Vegas pics and he laughed at the pinkness of my computer (I'd forgotten that he's never actually seen it). It was a good night of just talking and drinking coffee because we haven't really just hung out together in a long long while now and I miss that. Hopefully he'll put aside some work time to chill with me more often :-)

An amusing quote from Matt: Maybe I'm vehicularly gay.



3. a 2am phone conversation
Him: Did you just call?
Me: Yes.
Him: Did you hang up on me?
Me: Yes.
Him: Wait, you know I answered and you hung up on me?
Me: I heard you answer but I was already in the process of closing the phone.
Him: And you didn't call me back?
Me: I didn't want to call you because I don't want to call you too much.
Him: Well, that is good. But this time you actually had something to talk about.



4. Last night I went out with Joshua to the gym. I wore a shirt that said "Official Fan of the World Hamburger Eating Championship" and watched food network (I did debate watching MTV's Return to Fat Camp though) while on the treadmill. I'm what you might call ironic.



5. Microsoft Word is weird. I did a spell check it decided that "Joe came..." was not correct and decided that maybe I meant "Joe camel..."



6. Blake Lewis's album is out! Dare I say that this will be the first American Idol CD I ever purchase??? Heather and I should have a dance party.



7. Humble Bob posted some of my pics. (see also: thoughts and pictures) He rocks!



8. Reason #5,689,890 that I should not be allowed to shop alone: Pink Illini Jersey! p.s. I also found the mecca for pink ties ;-) Just sayin.



9. Despite the fact that I already owned it on DVD from the first time it came out, I bought the new box set of My So Called Life because that show was so quintessentially me. Honestly I don't think I would have ever been so adamant about dying my hair if it wasn't for Angela Chase. But you know you're getting older when you feel more and more sorry for Brian Krakow. Honestly though, I am still searching for my Jordan Catalano.



10. I've posted a few entries over at Silly America. You should read them, and subscribe to the RSS feed!

Posted by valry at 8:22 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Sometimes a complimentary poncho doesn't actually protect you from the spewing banana puke that then gets all over your jacket and hair and sweater and chair... :(

So I saw Blue Man Group twice in high school, but haven't seen it since. So I grabbed Joew and Meredith and Andy and Josh. First thing you have to do when you go to BMG is go to the bathroom, not because you have to but because you want to hear the bathroom song. The second thing you do is get a mimosa...just because mimosas make any show a million times better.

The show was kick-ass awesome (aren't you sick of the fact that the only adjective I seem to know is awesome? Be grateful that I at least several modifiers to it). If you have never seen it, go...and take me with you damnit. I mean, any show that gives you a free poncho to wear (and seriously, you need that poncho) and toilet paper to wear on your head has o to be good.

My only complaint is that the show definitely has the Rent-effect where some of the magic of the show is lost when half of the audience has already seen it and knows what to expect.

Some highlights (or maybe lowlights): I wish I could catch marshmallows like that, getting covered in blue man chest puke, trying to read all the signs, half-expecting to have to lead everyone in the national anthem, Me to Josh: There's a blue man on your head!, painting the town in tp, ummm everything!

After the show we headed to Clarke's for pancakes. mmmpancakes.
Hare Krishna on the street: Would you like some homemade vegetarian food?
Meredith: I only eat meat.
hahaha.
We also saw a giant penis and were fascinated. It did not belong to the Hare Krishna.
Everyone agreed that they can't take me anywhere. They determined this as I tried to wipe the puke out of my hair at the table and licked the hot chocolate off the side of my glass so I wouldn't lose any of it.

I TOOK MORE PICTURES!

***

1. I am apparently not going to officially have my masters in November because I am an idiot who does not pay attention to deadlines.

2. I came home and watched Next Great American Band...exactly what I thought would happen did. The commercials for auditions called out to any band any type...but then when they showed polka bands and such they criticized them and didn't take them seriously. Lame. The Australian dude who's supposed to be Simon Cowell also made way too many Simpsons references.

3. Hood's reaction to me buying new software:
Fish8581: for $700 you can buy a damn pretty box and have $683 left over
Fish8581: OR
Fish8581: you could fold a $100 bill into a box
Fish8581: it's called origami
Fish8581: they have books at the library

4. Did I mention that I have all this new awesome (there it is again) software and my damn CD drive is still broken?

Posted by valry at 1:21 AM | Permalink | Comments (6)

1. Trading Spaces was on tonight and that was the first new episode in forever. They, of course, retooled the format...again. Each time they do it it gets worse and worse. They now have compeltely lost the two key elements: they no longer really focus on getting to know the homeowners, and tey no longer show you how easy and great it is is to do all the projects..it sucks more and more.

2. Went out tonight with Josh and Nadia to Fridays. They have parmesan encrusted quesadillas which we got just because it sounded so ridiculous. We loaded Josh up on carbs. I finally got to give Nad her birthday present. I basically buy her what I want in powder blue in green... We are too alike. We then went and drooled over stuff in bed bath and beyond.

3. I am sooo glad I didn't buy the large poster board :)

4. I need to wear all polyester when I go rafting, so I went to the sports store and loaded up on anything I could find that was 100% poly and 100% pink :)

Posted by valry at 11:07 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

1. Hood is a fucking genius. He has literally saved me hundreds of wasted hours in my life...Seriously. too bad he didn't come up with this brilliant idea two years ago :( Basically he was smart enough to realize that you could go into photoshop files and edit it so it will automate photo galleries into my template...instead of automating it in theirs and then having to apply my template...Sometimes those galleries I post take four or five hours of my life to do...and now they take no time at all :)

2. There is no good way to get to Chattanooga...but I plan to go anyways.

3. I have added a scripted show to my viewing schedule. Don't worry, I doubt that will become a pattern.

Posted by valry at 11:18 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

On LSD yesterday, on my way to JoeJoe's to watch the Bears. In Soccer traffic. On a nice day with tons of car and a whole lotta people walking around and on the beach and in the park. A whole lotta people...

The guy in the car next to me decided to get out of his car at a red light and pee on the side of the road.

ON LAKE SHORE DRIVE.

There were people walking about two feet away from him and he wasn't trying in any way to be discreet. WTF???

In other news the Bears lost. umm, boohoo?

***

Bear? Wolf? hahahahaha.

***

Vern Yip finally has his own TV show!!! Woo to the hoo! It's only about five years too late.

Posted by valry at 7:21 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

1. I finally got rid of my desktop. Every time I turned it on, it reminded me that there has been a time change so check my clock. Not because it's broken, but because that is how often I turned it on. I've had it so eight years, so it was time to take it out of my room where it was just collecting dust

2. This is me as a Simpson's character. I call my character "Val"

3. This is where I'm staying next time I go to Europe...or Schaumburg...

4. I finally found my tv remote...after two months of it missing...I still haven't found my VCR remote...

5. I want this lamp...so many little porcelain faeries!!!! It's only $90,000

6. Nadia and I are psychic... Last week we were talking about how Rob Thomas sucks alone and needs to get back with Matchbox 20...the next day M20 releases a single. This week we were discussing how Trading Spaces completely dissapeared...the next day they show a bunch of episodes. Next time I see her I am going to bring up the fact that a million dollars is never just bestowed on me for no reason.

7. I stole and hid the fake hair my mom was going to wear to Jen's wedding.

8. Luke is now on Doggie MySpace because I was bored.

9. I went from having $600 to -$100 in the span of a week. I cried. I am not cut out for investing of any kind.

10. Who puts back not just one, but TWO empty peanut butter jars into a cupboard???

Posted by valry at 10:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

1. I woke up really suddenly in the middle of the night and saw a red dot and my first thought was that someone was on my neighbors roof shining a laser pointer into my room. Then I realized that it was the light on my VCR.

2. I just applied to be the next Elvira. Although I think the deadline was passed anyways. I will apply to be on the Bachelor next month after I get my hair cut for the first time in a year. They don't let girls ont he Bachelor with messy hair.

3. I think I have packed more for a two day roadtrip then I did for a 3 week Europe trip.

4. someone on missed connections is looking for a girl in PINK ouside the Civic Opera House...the one day I wear blue!

Posted by valry at 11:23 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

1. Scott had to explain to me why this wasn't a win. :(

I will never ever win a game of chess. Of course, it might help if I knew how the pieces moved. And maybe if I didn't cry when my ponies are eaten by the other team :(
I am proud of my draw :)

2. Well, Rich said I should apply to be on the Bachelor, and...well...he was the only one to vote on one of the shows I put up :( Although Chris emailed me with this one: The Search for the Next Elvira and I think I will apply for that too!! Oh! And look what may be coming to America! Count me in on that one!

3. Kobayashi has jaw-arthritis!!!! OHNO!!!! But he's still gonna compete on the fourth! This is going to be one monster showdown!

Posted by valry at 11:53 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

AMERICA...MY FATE IS IN YOUR HANDS...

American Idol posted their audition schedule. Chicago is no where to be found :( That means I have to pick a different reality show to apply for. Or, better yet...

YOU GET TO CHOOSE WHICH REALITY SHOW I SHOULD APPLY FOR!!!!

That's right. Television is teeming with mindless crap, why shouldn't I be a part of it??? You get to vote on a reality show for me to apply for. Whichever show gets the most votes will recieve an application from moi! Do you want me to see me shower? Do you want me to change my life? Do you want me to find the love of my life? YOU DECIDE!!!!

Here are your choices, leave a comment with your vote!

MTV - Shower Power Music Hour (a total rip off of "Pants Off Dance Off" but who cares?)

MTV - New member of Menudo (OK, so I'm sure I'm no Ricky Martin...or Latino...or a young boy...but I could do it!)

ABC - The Bachelor (I could find true love!)

NBC - Dr. Steve-O (Steve-O can come and change my life!)

TLC - LA Ink (I could get a tattoo on tv!)

VOTEVOTEVOTE!!!

Posted by valry at 7:27 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

1. SummerDance
Tonight I went to SummerDance at Grant Park. It's totally awesome. An hour of dance lessons followed by 2 hours of a live swing back, all outdoors. Can't beat it. Tonight was East COast Swing and the Thomas Gunther Jazz Band. Sweetsweetsweet. Of course, I had to go all by myself because no one would go with me :(
I've determined that there are guys who have no clue what they're doing, guys who think they know what they're doing, guys who know how to dance but can't lead, and maybe one or two guys in the world who can actually dance AND lead. 'm not saying the others aren't fun, but to really be able to dance, you have to be able to lead te girl. Most guys just don't understand that.
Anyways, while doing the class I danced for a bit with a guy I shal forever refer to as adoraboy because he was quite possibly the most genuinly cutest boy I've ever seen. Unfortuantly, he was there with a girl and I never saw him after that. I did dance with a few boys and a few old men, and a few people who need to invest in some serious deodarant. Most of the people really didn't know how to dance, or couldn't keep rhythem, or made me dizzy sick by just going around in circles...but it 'twas fun none the less. The band played one salsa number, and this guy asked me to dance. I said I didn't know much salsa and he said he didn't either, then he proceeded to do some weird not-quite salsa/swing/lindy/mambo/foxtrot that involved everything and nothing. I just went with it though. Dancings supposed to be fun, not technical.
THere was probably only one guy who knew how to dance and lead very well. And there was this other guy who I danced with last who I just totally let loose and we were fucking awesome.
Too bad most of these guys were like 50 or something.
Can't wait 'till the next one I can go to!
Anyone up for salsa on the 28th??? or Transylvanian folk on July 5? (seriously, that's on the roster!)

2. So You Think You Can Dance
I've been watching this show and it's probably one of the best of reality that's on right now. This dance was fucking amazing and makes me want to be a dancer and therefore makes me cry:

Posted by valry at 12:03 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

1. My dog is a pimp

2. HOLY SHIT! JOEY CHESTNUT BEAT KOBAYAHI'S RECORD!!!! I can't wait for the Fourth of July battle to see what happens!!!

3. After the power outage...
Mom: The computer is broken.
Me: No, it is turned off.

4. My dad is back from the hospital...which is kind of odd since it's been three days since his surgery...and they originally said it would be five days in the hospital and then five days in a recovery center. Eh.

5. ValCap
So You Think You Can Dance
ummm...i dunno...I don't really remember it

On The Lot
This is so horribly bad. Last week it was interesting but now they switched to an American-Idol rip off show. You know how on the American Idol results show it's an hour of worthless filler? Of course you didn't because you don't watch American Idol, but it is. On On The Lot, they did one worse, and hour long results show with NO FILLER. Nothing. They kicked three people off in an hour and that was it. It was the most worthless crap of TV ever. And the host is a moron who mispronounces every other word including "Carrie Fisher." And the movies sucked. Ohman, this is going to be a long summer. The network got smart and cut the damn show to once a week.

The Next Best Thing
haha, so, you know reality TV is going down the drain when even Val looks at the TV Guide and says "God, I have no desire to watch a bunch of celebrity impersonators."

Pirate Master
This show was something awful. Mostly because these people will never be considered pirates. First of all, the host totally needed to be like Captain Hook, not some washed up (not a pun) old actor. Second they allowed women on the show. Women aint pirates, they should have their own show: Ship Wench Master. Third, when they had to dive into the water, some of them were wearing goggles. Pirates don't wear goggles. Fourth, there's a district attorney who is keeping that a secret because for some reason she thinks it is an advantage. Fifth, this one dude kept saying that they couldn't vote him off because he was the only one who had a compass. Then they kicked him off. And they let him leave with his damned compass! A real pirate would have stolen it. Sixth, they didn't make the loser walk the plank.

National Spelling Bee
Seriously, the National Spelling Bee is the best couple of hours on television each year. Some highlights and lowlights:
- Samir got cut early! Resulting conversation with Joe:
Val: !!! Samir didn't even make the finals!!!!
JoeJoe: boo hoo
Val: its like if Mark Buehrle was cut from the team
Val: and i say that because i went to the white sox website and that name was the first one i saw
JoeJoe: ha - for a moment i was impressed
Val: :-)
- The Canadians spell words with a "zed"
- man: your word is "Punaise" it's another word for a bedbug kid: "I like bedbug better"
- One of the kids so had a moustache
- For a second year in a row, it came down to an American and a Canadian. Who let Canadians into the National Spelling Bee?
- Congratulation Evan O'Dorney - keeping it in America!

Posted by valry at 9:50 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)

my day included...

1. feeling really awesome after spending 2 hours fixing something up and coming up with my own creative solution to a stupid problem that made me very proud of myself. I like troubleshooting :)

2. feeling really shitty after it turns out that after all my awesome effort I still managed to fuck up.

3. Watching So You Think You Can Dance and On The Lot.

4. Going and getting some black forest goodness from Coldstone.

5. Cleaning out my car to get all the menlted ice cream off of everything.

6. Going out at 11pm to Howl at the Moon to hear dueling pianos (playing all my fav songs - Like a Prayer, Laid, Hold my little hand, girls just want to have fun...), drink old man drinks, see Mike (who is NOT my friend!) and Julie for the first time in forever, and celebrate Isla (not a peninsula)'s birthday.

7. Coming home after 2:30 and writing this blog. :)

8. sleep?

Posted by valry at 2:45 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

SPOILER ALERT:::THIS POST CONTAINS SPOILERS TO THE FINALES OF 24 AND IDOL

24:: I guess I kind of expected...more...and for everything not to end up in a rosy glow. I mean, I guess Jack realizing that he had to give up that chick was sad, but it wasn't too exciting. After they saved the world I just kept thinking "there's 15 minutes left, still time for someone to die!" "there's 15 seconds left, still time for someone to die!" And then squat. I feel cheated. I bet that boy is going to turn evil in later seasons...and he'll go all anikin and fall for chloes lovechild even though she will be way young...(please correct me if my star wars analogy is off, but I thought that chick in star wars was much younger than the evil dude...? maybe?)

American Idol:: Last night Blake sucked it up bad and Jordin mildly suked it up...so obviously Jordin won. That and the producers have been pimping her to win for a while now. It isn't Blake's fault that he sucked it was the crappy winner song they made im sing. Not his style at all. Tonights results show was kind of stupid as always.
Some comments on the performances:
- What the fuck was Green Day doing there? Maybe next year they can do a punk night???
- Sanjaya would have been even better if they did his hair in the ponyhawk.
- I'm no Bette Midler fan, but she was pretty damn horrible.
- They made a big deal that all the past american idols (minus Fantasia who is on Broadway right now) were going to sing together...but that just meant they each sang a different song right in a row and never shared the stage...: but they got kelly clarkson to admit she was on american idol, i guess thats a start.
- Blake got to beatbox with Doug E. Fresh. Not to be confused with Doug E. Doug. Melinda got to sing with the people she used to sing back up for. Jordin just got to sing with Ruben Studdard, what a jip for her.
Then they crowned Jordin as the winner and Blake could breathe easy and be happy that he can reap all the fame AI brings and not have to sing that crappy single and not have to be roped into the crappy AI contract. I can't wait for his album!

The Hills:: Heidi and Spencer are engaged! Yeah, that news made me throw up a bit too. Mayhaps we'll get a reality show of their wedding...or a newlyweds like series???

***

Now, I know that 24 and AI and ANTM and Apprentice are over...some maybe for good...but don't you worry...the summer is always filled with wonderful reality crap for me to report on! Fox is already kicking in the On The Lot and So You Think You Can Dance? Usually I only watch the dance show for the auditions because I always think I'm going to see someone I know (the first year it was on there was a girl I knew on there). But it kind of makes me sad to watch sometimes :(

On The Lot is about movie makers...the first episode was OK but its still at the point where they have way too many contestants to know who anyone is. nd I doubt there will be any beatboxing.

Posted by valry at 10:10 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

24 - it's over next week! I think it's going to end with Kumar coming back from the dead and throwing White Castles at everyone. In fact, I jut know it will!

ANTM - eh, despite the fact that this is probably my favorite show, I really didn't care who won. They were all good but no one really stood out for me. If I were 2 inches taller I would so win it all :)

AI - how the hell is Blake still there? Not that I am complaining, 'cause we all know I love Blake...but I thought for sure he was toast this week, and he has only had 1 or 2 steller performances the whole season while Melinda was pretty great every week. I think the one fault with Melinda Dolittle was that she looked like a person named Dolittle.

I will now leave you with a few conversations I have had recently on the subject of American Idol...

Hood: not that i want to admit having watched any of this, but why is the token gay man still on your show
Val: BLAKE!!! I AM IN LOVE WITH BLAKE!
Val: HE IS NOT GAY!!!!
Hood: um
Hood: yes, yes he is
Val: NO HE IS NOT
Val: I LOVE HIM
Hood: i thought the point of the show was to see who was a good SINGER
Val: he is a good singer
Val: he beat boxes too
Hood: but he only has one style
Val: and he is cutey
Val: does any singer ont he radio have more than one style?
Hood: i thought that part of the show was for them to exhibit some sort of adaptability
Val: nono, the only point of the show is to pimp these people out for months so that the producers can make lots of money
Hood: and yes, the beat boxing adds to his homosexuality
Val: :-(
Hood: thats the kind of talent that you keep in reserve
Hood: and use maybe once
Val: hes the beat boxing champion of seattle or something
Val: and he is cute
Val: i am going to marry him and have little beatboxing blake babies
Hood: yeah good luck getting him to play for our team
Hood: we don't need a shortstop that bad
Val: :-(
Val: you don't think i could turn the guy?
Hood: i was commenting more on the uselessness of turning him
Val: :-(




Val: american idol is starting a new show for bands :-)
JoeJoe: ug ... its gonna go survivor and have 18 spinoffs
Val: there is alrady the dance spin off
Val: oooo, american idol - survivor
Val: theyd have to sing for their dinner in subway stations
JoeJoe: ug
Val: :-)

Posted by valry at 9:18 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

1. I am officially signed up to take "humor and satire" next quarter. I can be funny, I think, so it should be an interesting class :) Once it is over, I will have my Masters!!!

2. I was so damn upset with Q101! They moved Sherman to earlier in the day - which means no more Your Request Sucks at 11 :( One of my favorite things to do was drive around at 11 listening to it...but...it looks like he's still doing it! Of course, it's earlier, and I will never ever hear it on air...and they knocked it down to 7 minutes...but, I still know it's out there! Listen here - best 10 7 minutes in radio!!!!

3. Since no one responded to my desparate emails for 24 borrowing, I sucked it up and paid $1.99 to dl the episode from iTunes. I still don't like the show, but I've come this far! I couldn't miss an episode now! Worst mistake ever. :( Worst episode ever. :( I'll try not to ruin anything - but they totally killed any chance for this season to redeem itself with the only storyline I cared about. :( I screamed. Out loud. A lot. And maybe kind of cried. :(

4. All my nails keep peeling, so it looks like I'm going to have to go get falsies on Friday.

5. Did anyone else notice that on Idol tonight they totally tried to pass off Pink's performance, which was filmed like a month ago, as being live??? Yeah, I know the answer is "no" because none of you fools watch it. But it's so true!

Posted by valry at 10:07 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Photo of the day:

"Greens"

* * *

You know what's worse than American Idol? The American Idol Songwriting Competition.
So you didn't have to, I went through and listened to all 20 finalists (well, not the entire song) and am reporting back. Because obviously you would have wasted your time listening to them . :) Basically these songs are the biggest bunch of crap I have ever listened to in my entire life. And this is me, I like crappy things...if I think something is bad, it's probably 100 times worse. Most of the songs were painfully slow ballads (they all were ballads, but most of them sounded like the person was singing in slow motion). They all sounded like they came from an awful off-off Broadway show that was forced to close after opening night. They all fell under the theme of "look at me, I never thought I'd make it!!!"
Each year Simon complains that the song the winner is forced to sing is bad. So this year they held a competition to choose a song from an amateur songwriter. The problem is, all of the songs have the exact same problems as the songs they normally choose. This cannot end well. Especially since the key would be to not just have one stupid generic song, but one that really fit whoever was singing it.
Oh, and one of them was seriously titled "Love me till the Lonley's Gone." I don't know if it was the author's choice or a stupid web editor (hehe) who decided lonely should be spelled like that.
All I have to say...Blake is gonna have to do a hell of a lot of beat boxing to make any of these listenable.

* * *

So I had a two reviews this week at work. The first went really well and the second went as expected. I got a raise though :) Only 1% so I'll make an extra couple of bucks each paycheck. But it's good for only working there for six months, and I definitely didn't expect anything. yayval?

Posted by valry at 9:27 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Best American Idol Performance EVER!!!:

My new favorite song:

What should be your favorite song...'cause it's true :):

Posted by valry at 11:25 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I guess I have to do my weekly tv update for you...

1. The Apprentice
I'm happy that Stefani won. I liked her the best, if only because I still think she looked the most like someone who should work for Trump (well, before she died her hair). Besides, it wasn't her fault that the dumb new rules of the show prevented her from ever being PM. Well, if nothing else this show reminded me of why I gave up watching it 2 seasons ago.

2. 24
Ummm, quite honestly I don't even remember much that happened this week. All I know is that if some hot guy was brave enough to battle terrorists to save me I would bother to remember who he was. Any takers?

3. Americas Next Top Model
:( I forgot to tape it tonight. Luckily they always repeat it on Sunday.

4. American Idol
What the fuck American Idol? WHAT. THE. FUCK? After how many years of pulling off show upon show every year, don't you think they could do a little better job at throwing together a charity shindig? If you don't know (and I am assuming that 99.9% of my readership doesn't) tonight American Idol put on a 2-hour charity event to raise money for Africa. And it was quite possibly the choppiest most boring show ever. Yes, the footage of poverty is heartbreaking and yes they raised money and that should be the point (never mind the fact that the money they raised is only a tiny portion of what the show actually brings in each week...) But Seacrest couldn't put together a coherent sentence to save his life (at one point he just looked at Paula and said "you're short.") And then you put together a performance between Celine Dion and ELVIS. And then you still spend the whole night making fun of Sanjaya. And then you for some reason bump off all of the acts you've been promising for weeks! Umm, where were Mr. Bean, Harry Potter, Pink, Borat, Gwen Stefani??? You cut a hell of a lot of people that we were promised.
And then you go through the whole show promising the most socking elimination, make us think Jordan is going home, and then say that you are not voting anyone off on charity night. Yes, that would be the good, compassionate thing to do...if you had said that in the beginning and not made the poor contestant cry! Seriously, it was the worst show ever! Jack Black and the Simpsons were the only highlights.

5. Dinner Impossible
Just wanted to say that this is my new favorite show :)

Posted by valry at 10:13 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Self portrait:

***

I haven't been able to bring myself to read my horoscope for the last few days. I normally read both Capricorn and Aquarius for Georgia Nichols and Holiday Mathis (as printed in the Sun Times) every morning. In fact, I'd hate going through the day without reading them. And now, for some reason I am terrified of seeing them.

***

Sanjaya is gone. :( I really wanted him to win.

***

I probably shouldn't post this. You probably shouldn't watch this at work. But it's funny.

:)

***

Still trying to be blonde...but I went well over a month without dying it! That's gotta be some kinda record!

I was scared that it would turn out too light, but then it turned out pretty dark. We'll see how it fades.

***

I rented and watched "Can't Buy Me Love" That makes 3 80s movies and another cross off my list!!! Of course, there are still so many to see. The last time I hung out with MattyK, which was like 2 months ago, he had mentioned something about Indiana Jones and I said I'd never seen it. They thought that was blasphemous or something. He should make me watch that. :)

Posted by valry at 11:04 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

At the suggestion of Chris...

hehehe :)

Also, at the suggestion of Chris...it's time for another installment of Val rants about TV...

The Apprentice
This was quite possibly the worst final task ever on the show. It reminded me why I stopped watching this show three seasons ago. I thought the change of location, etc. might bring life back into it, but quite the opposite was true. Normally, Donald brings us down to 2 candidates and then has them each run a separate event. This time we had 2 teams of 4 and they had to make a horrible commercial. Usually when they make commercials the teams act them out themselves, and you could always blame the fact that they aren't (in theory) actors so therefore that was why they weren't any good. This time they got all the professionals they needed, and still sucked. So we didn't have that fierce one against one competition, we didn't get any special celebrity guests, we didn't get a good challenge, and then we didn't even get a firing. He;s going to choose between the four next week. I think he's trying to keep his options as wide open as possible because he doesn't want a repeat of that one season where he had to choose between an incompetent realtor and a woman whose claim to fame was that she could use a bedazzler.

American Idol
A statement of condolences towards Virginia Tech does not count if it is followed by "This is American Idol" and a theme song. A statement of condolences towards Virginia Tech does not count if it is used as an excuse for your singing being sucky. Just saying.
Country week is always bad. Sanjaya is being treated like the star. I hope he wins because it will show those damned producers! Simon finally told Melinda to stop acting like it's a big shock that she can sing well.

The Media
Seriously, this who Virginia Tech thing just makes me hate the news even more. I love it when the police are trying to be respectful and not release the names of victims until the families are notified so a reporter goes out to find any random student to report that a friend of a friend of their cousins was one of the guys who got shot. I also hate all the slack the school is getting for not "warning students." Did they expect a personalized singing telegram??? The first shooting was left 2 dead. Yes, it's tragic, but no, it isn't a reason to expect that anything worse is going to happen. If someone in my town was shot, I don't expect to be notified right away and locked down. I hear about it later in the news like everyone else.

Posted by valry at 10:13 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

On 24.

1. Why bother showing the "previously on 24" thing at the beginning if you did a 180 and are now onto a completely different plotline?

2. This new plot would probably make a lot more sense if I knew who this Audrey person was.

3. This show would be a lot better if it was a romantic comedy focusing on Milo and Nadia. Or even if they brought back that storyline for a split second.

4. Does anyone else think they are prepping to kill off Jack and replace him with Silver Spoons??

5. I like how everyone thinks everything is all better now that the bombs were found...and no one seems to remember that one of them did go off only a couple of hours ago and probably is still in the process of killing a lot of people.

6. 24 would be a lot better if I had people to watch it with :(

Hood told me that all of these things happen every season. That the plot always switches and that they always make it look like Jack will die and be replaced. He also told me that my opinion doesn't count because I "buy pink electronics." :(

***

And now onto more pressing matters concerning the presidential campaign.

Yesterday, Hillary Clinton got to tackle the matters of the election that REALLY count...

During a radio call-in segment on WOKQ FM in New Hampshire, Sen. Hillary Clinton was asked what the United States can do about Sanjaya Malakar, [American Idol]'s underdog candidate who critics say lacks any shred of talent.

''That's the best question I've been asked in a long time,'' Clinton said. ''Well, you know, people can vote for whomever they want. That's true in my election, and it's true on American Idol."

Posted by valry at 12:10 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

I am sick. COUGHCOUGHCOUGH

I woke up at 7 for work and decided I needed to go back to bed. My throat hurts, I've been coughing up a lung, My head is cloudy. I took my temperature and it was 98.3. No one ever believes me when I say I have a fever, but my temperature when I am not sick is consistently 97.2, so I determined that I had a fever. So I called in sick and slept until 11. Then I spent the day in bed.

I read some of a thousand acres and uploaded some songs to my IPod. Going through my CDs I realized that I have horrible taste in music. I went trough over 20 CDs and uploaded about 45 songs.

I never get that sick and now three times in the last year I've been sick.

Then I watched American Idol.

Now I am sleepy.

Thus is the life of val

someone make me feel better?

Posted by valry at 8:46 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

1. Everyone in my class complained over the readings for this week saying that they made technical writing look like a rather crappy. So our professor had us go around saying what we wantd to be when we were younger. Everyone laughed when I said that I had wanted to be a ballerina, not realizing that it wasn't a baby's dream but something I truly wanted until I was a sophomore in high school. I grapple every day trying to figure out what I really want to do. Is there ever going to be a day when I am not contemplating my career and trying to figure out what it is I am good at or would want to do?

2. ummm...24...WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?! You can't go 18 hours convincing us that the season is following one plot and then completely fuck with our heads and switch it completely! Unless, of course, you're focusing on the Milo/Nadia romance :) Why don't you show more of that?

3. I killed a bunny. I hit it with my car. That makes me sad :(

4. COUGHCOUGHCOUGH I am sick and feel like crap.

Posted by valry at 11:53 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

They call it a spoof, but it's more reminiscent of Tori Amos does "Smells Like Teen Spirit" than Weird Al does "Ridin." Anyways, I actually kinda like it:

Speaking of "Smells Like Teen Spirit," in class tonight we watched a kind of awesome documentary on Seattle and the rise of grunge and it showed the first performance of that song.

Speaking of class tonight, I think I am dropping the class I took tonight and am only going to take one class. I guess I can stay home and watch reality TV instead.

Speaking of reality tv, if you watched the Apprentice the other night you would have seen that the winners of the task got a surprise visit from family. Nicole's mom was on the show. Her mom was one of the realtors I used to work with.

Posted by valry at 10:34 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

1. HAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHA

I'd trust a bunch of bar thugs to catch my terrorists over the ctu any day!

2. Wendy's now has a Frosty Float. Go get one!

3. You know you're in for an interesting class when your professor says that the best way to contact him is through AIM and that he will respond to your papers by sending you an mp3s of him telling you his comments.

4. Speaking of school, since I never have anything to do anyways, I think I am taking 2 classes this quarter and will probably be done with school in June. Maybe.

5. I just discovered that my computer came with chess. i love playing chess against the computer because it tells me when I am in check and i would never know if it didn't tell me. By love playing chess i mean i like to move the pony around and when he dies i cry and start over because i miss the poni